The Graffiti Table

I went back to Ohio

2009-07-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

I doubt the postings will last, but I'm going to try to document 2009's yearly sojourn to my old home town, Hudson, Ohio. I'll be staying in areas around and about, but this will always be the place where I go back to in my mind and heart.

I couldn't wish for a better place to grow up.

This may explain it

2009-06-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

Blogging Is Dying; Twitter Is to Blame

Not an Actual Post

2009-04-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Hell,it's been a month and a half. Ridiculous!

The Pope and Facebook

2009-02-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

This is a few weeks old, but Pope Benedict XVI issued a statement about Facebook.

Yeah, that's just weird on its own. Who asked the Pope about Facebook? Which one of his minions said, "Hey, Bennie, you gotta comment on this Facebook thing. Obama knows all about it and so should you. You wanna reach the kids, you know. No, not that way. What's that? No, you shouldn't update your status in Latin. Anyway, the world is waiting, so I prepared this brief."

It's a pretty innocuous statement, and it doesn't really say anything that people haven't heard, but this familiar-sounding excerpt stands out: "But he also warns that "obsessive" virtual socializing can isolate people from real interaction and deepen the digital divide by excluding those already marginalized."

I don't know about those of you who do the Facebook thing too, but I gotta say the exact opposite happens. I've gotten in touch with old friends that I miss a ton. Learned that some folks I didn't know so well are surprisingly witty, hilarious, thoughtful and I consider them real friends now.

If anything, I'll see more of these people now in my travels. I attend more events. I know what's going on in people's lives, and that means a lot to me.

A friend of my said this, though I'm paraphrasing: "I love hitting Facebook first thing in the morning. Grab my coffee and read my personal newspaper, filled with news about the people that matter to me."

For me, it's more like reading the paper in the evening with a beer in hand, but the sentiment stays the same.

Nude dancing girls?

2009-01-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

Here's an interview with Grayson Capps, my old friend and partner in the House Levelers (which was the first band for both of us). Towards the end of the interview he mentions a wild incident that he says occurred with the Levelers, namely a bunch of topless women dancing on stage with us in Tupelo, Mississippi. Now, I admit I have memory problems. Crustodio can confirm that. I have forgotten a lot of stuff. And kids, let that be a lesson to you - don't do (too many) drugs. But I really don't think that ever happened. I don't think he deliberately made it up - maybe his memory is as bad as mine. Well, this is what I recall, anyway...

I do remember the bar in Tupelo (birthplace of Elvis Presley, you know) Grayson mentions. It was a biker bar, called "Hey Norton's!". When we first showed up there we thought we were going to die - it was a tough looking crowd that seemed unlikely to enjoy our special brand of "thrash-folk". But surprisingly, they loved our band and we ended up playing there a lot. The owner was a little biker dude named Lamar. Before we started every set he would get up on stage and drunkenly bellow into the mic that we were the House Levelers from "New Orleansaloosiana". And then he would yell "Hey, Norton's!" and the entire crowd would all scream back at him "Hey Norton's!". It was awesome.

We got to know Lamar a little bit over the half-dozen times we played there. We even crashed at his place once, when we couldn't find a place to stay. One night, and I think this is where Grayson's story comes from, he was particularly drunk and feeling affectionate towards us. He beckoned us to come behind the bar after the place had closed. He was very excited to show us something. We crowded around as he opened a cabinet on the wall behind the bar. Pasted on the inside were a bunch of polaroids and snapshots of women "showing their tits", in the parlance of the times. We were suitably impressed and Lamar was quite proud of his collection. Looking back at that night, in these days of the endless Girls Gone Wild video offers on the tube, it seems kind of innocent and endearing. Not quite as exciting as naked women dancing on stage while we played, but for me, it's a better memory.

NOTE: I apologize for the ad at the beginning of the video, you'll just have to grit your teeth through it.

Naw, we straight

2009-01-26T15:41:00.000-08:00

Apparently this video has been making the rounds, just not with the middle-aged white boy demo. Regardless, it makes me happy inside.

Sure, more than half of the country wanted to have a beer with George Bush four and eight years ago (sort of. damn you, Florida). But I'd rather have a chili dog with the smoothest president I've ever seen.

It's not easy to be cool AND the smartest person in the room. But damn, he's got it.

UPDATE: Apparently the mainstream media is on board too.

Let me get back to the PM on that, then we'll talk about the content requirements

2009-01-26T11:45:00.000-08:00

I read this post from Gods of Advertising and couldn't help but smile. It is my life.

With great apologies to my family, I am a very literal listener. My father raised me (very sternly) to "Say what you mean and mean what you say", and I'm afraid that lesson has stuck for life. Along with "If you're on time, you're late", but that's another post for another time.

As a copywriter, I certainly think "conceptually" when creating work and when it comes to humor, I have no problem using or understanding metaphors and other tricks of the trade.

But I swear, if we're having a conversation that includes expected results, you better tell me exactly what you want. I will only hear what you say, not what you "really meant". Yes, I realize this is a fault on my part. I'm working on it. But for the love of butter, why can't people just say what they want?

This especially gets the worst of me at work - in meetings, particularly. Just like the post linked above, I'll drift off when you start using acronyms. I'll take a mental powder when you choose long, unnecessary words when a short, succinct phrase will do the trick.

Life it too short, folks. Don't waste my time with "procedural understandings". However, I'll gladly share my thoughts on "how to work together more efficiently".

It's not that I don't understand you. I just don't want to have to work to understand you. I'm in advertising. One of the few grown-up playgrounds that survives on adult ADD, caffeine and wit.

So, are you with me? Get your message across already, will ya?

Masterfully cleansed

2009-01-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

Like any sane person, I take all my fashion, musical and dietary advice from Beyonce. So I'm proud to announce that I finished the 10-day Master Cleanse diet/fast on Thursday and am gearing up to eat solid foods again today. Also known as the Lemonade Diet, you subsist entirely on a drink made up of lemon juice, organic Grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. It's actually pretty tasty, though it gets a little old after 10 days. I did the MC last year around this time and this time it was a little easier, mainly because I knew what to expect.

So, what's it like? Overall, it's a pretty good experience. I had really good energy, I wasn't cripplingly sleepy all day and I felt clear-headed and possibly something similar to what John Denver referred to as a "Rocky Mountain High'". Surprisingly, I never was really hungry. I had cravings from time to time, and other people's food smelled wonderful, but if I drank a lemonade I immediately felt better. I usually drank around 6 - 8 glasses a day. I missed the act of eating and the flavors, but never felt that hunger was an issue.

My cravings were always for healthy items. I thought about brown rice a lot and good wheat bread, tomatoes and apples. As much as I love junk food, I never once had cravings for sweets or chips or anything like that. So, I've decided to go back to the vegetarian diet I abandoned a few years ago. I love the taste of meat, but I do think it's unhealthy. And I deplore the killing of animals for food, and always felt bad about eating meat. But, on the other hand - bacon is GOOD. Always, always my downfall.

On the downside, the first few days of the diet can be really rough if you ingest a lot of toxins on a daily basis. In my case, that would be coffee and booze. I had the worst headache for 2 and a half days as I went through caffeine withdrawal. I always felt I drank too much coffee, but I just love it so much and I need the energy boosts to get me through the day. I'm planning to switch to decaf and hoping that I if I buy really good coffee it will satisfy me. Yeah, good luck with that.

Although I love to drink alcohol (mainly wine, these days), I've done enough time "on the wagon" in the last few years that I didn't miss it at all. Plus, I've just naturally been slowing down on the drink lately - partly because drinking makes me too tired to deal with the baby and also because my doctor recommended it.

Besides losing weight and getting rid of the crap in your body, the diet is relatively inexpensive compared to eating real food for 10 days. So, it can be a good thing to do when cash is tight. But be warned that the organic Grade B maple syrup is bizarrely expensive. A little 12 oz bottle is 13 bucks. And you'll probably need 4 or 5 of them.

But by far, the worst is the salt water flush. This part is a little graphic, so you may want to skip the next 2 paragraphs. Ok, now obviously since you're not bringing in solid food there's going to be a problem pushing everything through the body. It's recommended to drink a laxative tea at night, which I rarely did. But what you must do every morning is drink a quart of salt water. It's only 2 teaspoons of salt, but I still found it unbearable. It's hard not to gag on it. Plus, a quart is a lot of liquid to drink in one sitting, no matter what the beverage is. Last year, I tried using a straw to make it easier, but this year I just powered it down.

Then the fun begins. In about half an hour you're filled with an extremely urgent need to use the bathroom, at which point everything in your bowels is vigorously expelled. It ain't pretty. This happens a few more times in the next half hour. So, whatever you do - do not stray far from a toilet for at least an hour. And prepare yourself for the possibility of a shart attack.

After you complete the 10 day fast, you need to be very careful getting back to a regular diet. For the first day you can only drink orange juice. The second day you can have some homemade vegetable soup. And the next day you can pretty much go back to normal. So, today I am really, really looking forward to some soup. Subsisting on oj for 2 days is not fun.

That about wraps it up. I found this book really helpful. I lost around 13 lbs, which puts me within 4 lbs of my wedding weight from 2 and a half years ago. I know I will gain some of the weight back immediately, but I'm hoping that sticking to a healthy vegetarian diet will help me continue to lose weight and feel healthy. Then again, we'll be hosting a Super Bowl party next weekend. That will be the true test. Wings.... Chips... Beer... Pork rinds.... Oh, god......

What happens in the Lincoln Bedroom, stays in the Lincoln Bedroom

2009-01-23T11:08:00.000-08:00

What the hell?

A shiny new day

2009-01-22T14:48:00.000-08:00

President Barack Obama makes a call from the Oval Office on his first full day on the job.
Callie Shell / Aurora for TIME

You can read the article here.

Pet peeve #3098

2009-01-08T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hey you, person with the laptop on my daily train! Do you need to have your volume up so I can hear when every email and IM arrives? Yeah, didn't think so. Suck it.

Note: Yes, I'm easing back into posting with weak, short material. You get what you pay for.

My Best Ten Records of 2008

2009-01-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I could go on & on about how we haven't posted for a month, but hey - nobody wants to hear excuses. But, if I had an excuse, it would look a hell of a lot like this:

With an excuse that cute, are you really going to hold a grudge? Moving on, I realize that most top 10 lists should actually come out before the new year begins, but what are ya gonna do? So, here we go - my favorites from 2008....

1. Vampire Weekend

Yes, they're over-hyped, over-exposed, over-blogged, blah, blah, blah. I don't care about any of that. This is the record of the year for me. It's a "good mood" starter and extender. It was played a lot during the Grafitti Table sojourn to Mexico and it will always mean sun and fun to me. Sure, it bites off a lot of Graceland, but the songs are great beyond all the afro-pop stylings. And it's biggest saving grace is that it is not a slick album - parts of it even sound like a demo, which just adds to it's abundant charm.

2. Santogold

This was probably the most played record of 2008 in the our house/car. The M.I.A. meets Lily Allen meets Karen O vibe was irresistible and addicting. Makes me want to throw up gold glitter, too.

3. Mudcrutch

Even if it wasn't just a great story (Tom Petty puts his first band from 30 years ago back together, hauling 2 of his formerly obscure bandmates into the limelight), I would still admire this record. TP is one of my all-time faves, and this record just extends his remarkable career. A laid-back country rock record, recorded live in the studio. Seemingly effortless, but lived in and surprisingly deep. A class act, that Charlie T. Wilbury, Jr.

4. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

Ghostly and haunting, these solo demos were luckily given the Nebraska treatment - just put 'em out as is. Again proving that isolation and depression lead to enjoyable music.

5. Mates of State - Re-Arrange Us

Insanely catchy pop songs from the husband & wife power-duo. They abandoned the old claustrophobic vintage keyboards for a fuller sound to no ill effect. The song "Rearrange Us" is definitely my most-played of 2008 (confirmed by iTunes).

6. My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges

Z was the record that finally won me over to these guys. Their earlier stuff was too monochromatic for me, all reverby vocals and Crazy Horse plod. But Z opened the door to new sounds and styles and Evil Urges more than delivered on that promise. I saw them play this summer and it was a stunning show. Guitar wigouts and solid songcraft combining to make them the most exciting American band. (Sorry, Wilco.)

7. Deerhunter - Microcastle

I don't know what it is about these guys. I couldn't hum you a bar or tell you a song title, but I love listening to this record. Experimental, noisy, showgazing, lyrically challenging - yet somehow smooth & soothing and served with a large dollop of playability. Combine this with Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Not Feel, from mainman Bradford Cox's solo project Atlas Sound and you have the twofer of the year.

8. Fleet Foxes

At first I was less than thrilled by this record - another Neil Young-influenced Americana record featuring a heavily-reverbed lead singer? But the comparisons to Band of Horses and My Morning Jacket slowly wore off after repeated listenings. Over time this record revealed it's unique take on gothic folk-rock (Beach Boys harmonies, for one), and won me over.

9. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

This clever duo combined hipster tomfoolery with vintage keyboards and a stellar production job from Dave Fridmann to great effect. Best use of vintage synths since 1983. I challenge you not to sing along to the synth line in "Kids Oracular".

10. The Black Keys - Attack & Release

Another band I was never too excited about, but it all came together for me on this one. The combination of Danger Mouse's production work and the fact that it was the only cd in my car for 6 weeks may have helped.

The next 10:

Blitzen Trapper - Furr

Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Lie Down in the Light

The Fireman - Electric Arguments

The Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead

The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely

R.E.M - Accelerate

Nada Surf - Lucky

She & Him - Volume One

Starfucker

The Whigs - Mission Control

We suck

2008-12-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

Actually, I suck.

Pete has an excellent excuse for barely blogging.

And me? Sure, I've been busy with tons of work and a side project, but really. Is it that hard to write a few sentences or even lazily post a video from some other blog?

Yeah, bottom line is, it's been that busy. In fact, it's taken me three hours to try and type this out at work.

Ridiculous.

Oh hell, here's a good video for you.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Love the Rudd

2008-11-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

We'll give it to 'em in black and white

2008-11-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

reality sets in

2008-11-10T11:30:00.000-08:00

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

One last thought on the election....

2008-11-07T09:33:00.001-08:00

It's a couple days after the election, and still sometimes during the day I'll suddenly remember that Obama is going to be our next president and get all excited again. The thing that has struck me since election night is this whole theory that America has moved on past race by electing a Black president. Sorry, I don't think so. This country is still as racially fucked-up as ever. The reason Obama won is that the GOP fucked things up so badly that even a Black guy could get elected. Hey, even the Onion is saying it:

"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."

The continuing arrogance and incompetence of the Bush administration and the vile campaigning of McCain and Palin was finally just too much for most citizens to handle. If McCain had shown the graciousness he displayed in his concession speech at any time during the campaign, there may have been a different outcome. But his whole-hearted pandering to the religious right and the neocons and whatever intolerant nutjobs exist in the Republican "base" doomed him.

We all liked and respected the old McCain. Most liberals said, hey, if it comes down to McCain, it's not so bad. Of course, that was before the campaign got ugly. LIke a lot of people, I lost all respect for the man this year. And even if I thought, well, maybe, it's just the campaign, he could still maybe be a good leader, the selection of Palin as his running mate quickly killed that thought. As I mentioned in the previous post, the thought of Palin running with a 72-year old cancer survivor was unacceptable to the American people.

I'll never forget the moment this past summer at the Obama rally in Portland when the implications of him actually winning hit me. Standing in a crowd of 70,000 people, the idea that an African-American could be elected president choked me up. It just seemed unbelievable. Looking around at the sea of people, I knew that his election would go a long way to healing some of our racial divisions, and offer a genuine hope to young minority children. And I still feel that. But you're not going to convince me that the majority of people were comfortable voting for someone of color. They just couldn't stomach four more years of Republican hell.

Please vote today

2008-11-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

Since I live in Oregon, and we have mail-in voting, I have already cast my vote for Obama/Biden. I urge you to vote today, though if you're reading this blog you probably don't need the reminder. Part of me is thinking "historic landslide" and part of me is thinking "another stolen election". And another part of me is thinking I could really eat a cheeseburger about now, but that's a different story.

As a new father, I pray that my daughter will spend her first 8 years in an Obama administration. I really believe this could be the most important election in my lifetime, and I think Barack Obama has what it takes to get this country back on track.

I used to think, well, if Obama loses, at least McCain won't be so bad. Obviously, that changed when he choose Mooselini to be his running mate. I really believe that the likelihood of McNasty surviving one, let alone two, terms is nil. The thought of Palin being president is even scarier to me than a third George W Bush term. I hope people keep this in mind when they vote for the 72 year old guy with melanoma.

My second favorite endorsement so far

2008-10-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

My favorite endorsement so far

2008-10-24T10:19:00.001-07:00

A Hit of E

2008-10-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

I'm looking forward to the Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives episode of Nova tonight. It's a documentary hosted by E of Eels about his physicist father and his Many Worlds theories. I've always been a fan of Eels, but their catalog has been a little spotty - except for 1998's Electro-Shock Blues, his masterpiece. Things The Grandchildren Should Know, his new biography sounds intriguing - I plan to check that out, too.

Head of Skate

2008-10-15T12:32:00.001-07:00

I sure as fuck do, pal.

2008-10-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

I've always loved reading the musician wanted/available listings in the weekly rags. There are always hilarious typos, the abuse of all-caps, exhortations to "fuckin, rock, dude!", weird passive aggressive challenges/invitations to rock, and all the evidence you need to believe in such stereotypes as the moronic, drugged-out butt rocker, the clueless, hopelessly uncool cover band guy, the pompous, egotistical talentless poseur or the snobby, too-cool-to-care indie rocker. The self-delusion in some of these ads never fails to inspire me.

Craigslist is now my new favorite destination for a good chuckle. Here are some recent highlights:

-- Drummer Available for some STONER ROCK! --

Do you like Black Sabbath, Sleep, Kyuss, Clutch(before the sucking began), et cetera?

I sure as fuck do, pal.

I've got a kit, more than a decade of playing, and some mics and so forth. I would be willing to go in on a practice space if things get real tight-like. Let's make some Stoney, Riff Driven rock, and make some people MOVE!

-- looking for teen guitarist for garadge band --

if u want to know more text or call me cause I don't feel like writing more 971 244 2312

-- Drummer Avaliable --

I am seeking a cover band to go out and play, have some fun, and make some cash. I have 30 years experience playing out. Professional gear and a professional attitude, and I do back up vocals. I am NOT looking for a country band, R&B, folk, or an all original band.

I am looking to do songs that people WANT to hear. And this is only a small sample, of what I like to play, and what I have noticed people want to hear.

Mississippi queen, Tom sawyer, Red barchetta, plush, higher ground, girls got rhythm, sex type thing, kryptonite, dam that river, run to you, say hello to heaven, woke up this morning, new sensation, gel, where the river flows, one way to rock, funk 49, brain stew, cumbersome, hard to handle, those shoes, what I like about you, counting blue cars, you really got me now, midnight blue, evenflow, my own worst enemy, mobscene, monkey wrench, smoken, born to be wild, ROCK in the USA, play that funky music white boy, everybody wants you.

Hopefully by now you get the idea of what I am looking for. I am looking to play rock! My influences are on a wide range. Rush, Led Leplin, Metalica, Sammy Hagar, The Eagles, ZZ Top, Foo Fighters, John Cougar Melloncamp, Lit, Van Halen, AC/DC, STP, Red hot chilly peppers, Green day, Billy squire, Boston, ect......

I want to make people forget there crappie work week, and enjoy the music!! If you don't recognize most of the songs on this list, then most likely your project is not what I am looking for.

Good luck in your search, and hope to hear from people with a passion for playing, and playing out in front of a crowd!!!

Sometimes people create new entries just to rag on a previous entry, like this one in response to the ad above:

"Thanks for sharing with us all every song you know and like...
We care! you long winded dickhead. no wonder you're looking for a band."

I don't know about you, but if you're not ready to go out and FUCKING Rock right now, there is something seriously wrong with you. Come on, forget your "crappie" work week already and enjoy the music. Or do you SUCK??

Now I'm gonna talk to a goat

2008-10-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, this video cracks me up. And no, I have no idea why.

Mostly, I'm just posting something so it will move that massive video of The Vivian Girls down the page a bit. Jesus, that's big. Check it out down there. Seriously.

Creative spaces in...Columbus?

2008-10-07T16:32:00.000-07:00

Advergirl is a super-astute ad blogger working in Columbus, Ohio. She's blogging a series highlighting some of the more creative working spaces in her town.

I've worked at a few agencies over the years that made creative design a priority. Seriously, it makes a huge difference. Right now, as I stare up at the drop-tile ceiling in my current office, a small tear forms at the corner of my left eye.

Keep rolling, Leigh. And keep those twitter updates coming.

Schlep right up!

2008-10-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

Hey, if I was Jewish and had living grandparents, this is what I'd be doing!

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Take On Me. Literally.

2008-10-07T12:24:00.001-07:00

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

2008-10-03T11:08:00.001-07:00

I don't know where this came from, but it's pretty good. You betcha!

Video of the Day

2008-10-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

Tell the World by The Vivian Girls. This clip straddles the line between annoying Brooklyn hipsterism and actually being a charming song and video. You decide.

Brace yourself, she's about to pop

2008-09-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

The truth of advertising

2008-09-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

Blarg.

Those of us who are called "creatives" in the advertising biz are constantly hoping, praying, begging, schmoozing and pleading for more “creative” projects to run across our desks.

And, unless you’re one of the few very lucky ones, a scant few come your way over the course of a year.

Sometimes that makes you very grumpy. Other times, you are smart enough to calm down and realize how lucky you are to have a very decent J.O.B. and that you should shut the fuck up. After all, you’re not making cold calls, castrating sheep, holding a cardboard sign by the freeway exit, or being forced to marry the Vice Presidential nominee’s daughter.

So, really, shut your cake hole. You’re living the dream.

Sure, sometimes you get to see your work on T.V., hear it on the radio, look at it lording over a busy street corner, or even have a cool URL to send your friends and say, “Hey, I worked on that!”

The reality is, though, is that often you’re writing letters. Editing brochures. Creating sales sheets. Honing someone’s power point presentation. More days than you’d care to admit, your significant other will ask, “What did you work on today?”, and you’ll cringe. Not because you’re unhappy with what you’ve done, but it’s just too boring to explain. You’ve only got so many minutes in a day so why waste it with rehashing stuff like that?

As the great guys from American Copywriter like to call it, the “That poor bastard” scenario. As in, you see a piece of un-fun advertising and say, “Man, some poor bastard had to write that.” In truth, we’re all “that poor bastard” from time to time.

But here’s the real dirty little secret. The sales sheets, letters, brochures, presentations etc. do most of the selling in this industry. And unless your client is a soda company, brewery, sports team or candy factory, you need facts to back up your product promise. So yeah, the cool stuff is awesome to work on, but it’s the down-and-dirty projects that keep the wheels of commerce moving, jobs happening and families fed.

Plus, you can actually have fun working on this stuff. You can inject great thinking. You can think conceptually and make great work. It just isn't going to win you any major awards or make your portfolio sexier. But that's okay.

I say, keep your heads up, my hard working writers and art directors out there. You are making a difference.

Comic from words & pictures. Go there. Every week.

If Palin were a Democrat...

2008-09-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Salon.

It's a travesty

2008-09-18T10:48:00.002-07:00

Crustodio sent me a link to a photo set on Flickr, where this guy has been on a long mission to photograph every school in Ohio. I was excited to see the schools from Mantua, the small village I grew up in. But I was shocked to see the absolutely horrible renovations they did to my old elementary school in the last few years. Above is a shot I took in 2002 and below, what it looks like now.

Apparently it's a doctor's office now. How in the hell did these sick fucks justify tearing up the lawn and cutting down those beautiful old trees. And they got rid of the giant Opportunity sign above the front door?? Imagine how proud the members of this tiny farming community were when they built this school in 1929 and etched the word Opportunity into the sandstone. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the changes made in the name of progress. The person who approved this project should be run out of town on a rail. I sort of feel like Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes, when he sees the Statue of Liberty buried in the sand. Well, maybe that's overstating it a tad.

Inspirational image of the day

2008-09-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

This one time on Bandcamp

2008-09-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Just heard about a new site for musicians to sell/share their music called Bandcamp. It actually looks pretty great, and I plan to take advantage of it soon. Check it out:

Bandcamp Screencast from Ethan Diamond on Vimeo.

Thanks, Waxy.

Making out at the end of the world.

2008-09-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Nice piece of video here.

A soundtrack makes all the difference

2008-09-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Mr. Crunchy

In tackiness we trust...

2008-09-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

Now that it's September 12th and only 364 days till we next memorialize Iraq attacking us, here's a gallery of tacky and kitschy 9/11 artwork.

Thanks, Wonkette.

Lazy Video Post

2008-09-09T13:45:00.001-07:00

I'm trying here, people. It's just gonna take some time to get up to speed again.

Anyway, stumbled across this today during my regular ad blog trolling. Pretty sweet.

And, completely unrelated, here's a video from Gnarls Barkley. Me likey.

Getting my poop together

2008-09-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know - it's been a long time between postings. A million excuses/reasons, but whatever. I'll get back to it soon enough.

In the meantime, here are some shots of my new office location in Pioneer Square. Great neighborhood, far hipper than shopping central. Even better, I take the train in now. About 40-45 minutes door-to-door. I may live longer now that I don't scream at other drivers every day.

RIP, Snowman

2008-09-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

Goodbye to good old Jerry Reed. You may remember him as the Snowman in Smokey and the Bandit, but he was also one hot-shit musician and singer songwriter.

Breakfast with Repp

2008-09-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Our old pal Corrina has a new video. While watching this I was hoping for a brief "I can bring home the bacon / and fry it up in the pan" homage, but no such luck. I really like simple concept-y videos like this. Nice one.

Corrina Repp - "Space And All Dead Things" from HUSH Records on Vimeo.

Grammar. Slammer.

2008-08-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

I can relate to these grammar vigilantes, but I don't think I'd go quite that far. What drives people to such lengths? Maybe this.

The rest of the days – a hurried wrap-up

2008-08-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

It’s been a crazy time for the Crustodio Camp (more to come on that), and I apologize for leaving the rest of my Ohio trip to your imagination. Then again, if you’ve been imagining my trip to Ohio, you probably should take up a hobby. May I suggest curling, collecting bunny chotske or possibly stalking a stranger?

The rest of the trip was lovely, thank you for asking. The remaining highlights:

Day Three – My brother takes me back to the in-laws’ home. A perfect lazy day, including lunch at Doogan’s “Home of the Slider Bucket” – thanks, pop-in-law! Neither I nor Crustodio Jr. dared the bucket and fared well on regular burgers. Lots of laughs with the family too. We even ended up at Doogan’s again in the evening. My just-turned-21 nephew works there, so he was bombarded by one uncle, two aunts and his mother as we took over a table in the bar and had our fair share of cocktails. Aunt Denise was thrilled to see it was the first night of state-wide Keno, and walked out $50 richer, thanks to her admitted addiction to gambling. The trivia question that haunted our table for the evening – “what band recorded the song Hold Your Head Up?” Big brother came through with a text message to put our minds at ease. On a side note, every time we go to Ohio we hold a Bob Seger Count, meaning we see how long it will be until we hear a Bob Seger song. He must be losing his touch, as we didn’t hear his golden voice until this evening. A new record, to be sure. Thankfully, Turn the Page came on and kept our provincial view of our home state intact.

Day Four – A seriously lazy day. If I’m not mistaken, we left the house twice – once for a trip to the local custard stand and again to see the new Batman movie. Both ventures were muy delicious.

Day Five – A huge golf outing with my brother at his club. I met a former NBA star, played in a group with a golf pro and had a freaking blast. Of course, breakfast, drinks, dinner and more were included. I am truly spoiled. The weird part – having a “running caddy.” They don’t carry your bags, but help spot balls, give you distances to the pin and help you read the greens. One caddy for our foursome. Again, spoilt like a nasty child.

Day Six – Another day of golf with my brother. Just the two of us merrily strolling through 18 holes of pure beauty. I could spend just about every day like that. Yeah, I know, so could about 27 million other guys. We followed it up with shopping (How cute! Brothers that shop together!) then, heading home. The real bonus of the day came when we got back to the house where free tickets to the Browns preseason game were waiting for us, courtesy of a super-cool neighbor. After dinner with the brother’s family, my family, my Dad and stepmom, we headed for downtown Cleveland (We'd all like to flee to The Cleve!) and the stadium. After a serious rain delay (which we avoided almost entirely by heading out late), the action started with Brady Quinn at the helm. I tell you – he is the man. Sorry Derek. I know you made the pro bowl and all, but the kid from Notre Dame is our future. We left early to beat the crowds and finished up at a bar by my brother’s house. Stellar freakin’ day.

Day Seven – Another easygoing day at the in-laws. We fit in Pineapple Express before we headed to sister and brother-in-laws for a fire pit beer gathering. Very very very nice.

Day Eight – We head home, sad to leave our families behind, but thrilled to be back in the Crustodio Compound.

I'll Take Manhattan

2008-08-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

Another great Primer from the Onion AV Club on another of my all-time faves, Woody Allen. On the last page they sum up with the 5 essential films: Annie Hall, Purple Rose of Cairo, Hannah and her Sisters, Bananas and Husbands and Wives. All great, but I would lose one of the last two to make room for Manhattan, my absolute favorite of his films, and in my top 10 of all time. The final scene when he rushes back to Mariel Hemmingway is so beautifully written and played. The wistful little smile on his face after she says "Not everybody gets corrupted. You have to have a little faith in people." is priceless. Cue Rhapsody in Blue!

Day Two: I am in the company of millionaires

2008-08-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

An early rising leads to a beautifully quiet morning in my brother’s home. Coffee, paper and smokes out on his front porch. If there was ever a constant in my Ohio travels, this has become one. His neighborhood is lovely, if not a little Pleasant-Valley-Sunday-ish. I feel right at home.

The adventure is to start shortly. As many of you know – and to both the amusement and scorn of Pete – I am a huge golf nut. I play for shit, but LOVE it. Watch it on TV. Read magazines and books about it. I would officially go gay for Tiger. Have I made my point?

So, after a light breakfast and a change of clothes, we are off to Akron and the Firestone Country Club, host of the Bridgestone Invitational, with two other friends, including the golf pro from my brother’s club.

Holy hell, this is heaven. A gorgeous day. Pristine fairways. The best greens I have ever seen in my life. A hospitality suite by the 18th green with an open bar and scads of food. And the TOP FIFTY (plus qualifiers) PLAYERS IN THE WORLD*.

First thing, we wander to a tee box and promptly watch Colin Montgomerie hit one out about a million miles. Couldn’t see where it went, but he sure looked grumpy as hell. Seeing as he was about eleventy-pi over par at this point, I don’t blame him. Still, this dude is like the all-time Ryder Cup American killer. So he’s got game. Just not this weekend. Weird detail: his caddy was super-young. That surprised me.

We make it to the hospitality suite. Sat out in the really really no seriously really fucking hot sun and viewed the first few groups as they walked up the 18th fairway. Weird detail: The camera does put on a lot of weight. No lie there. Most of the dudes are seriously in shape and the guys that look pudgy on TV look ripped in person.

Later we cruise to an excellent spot by the green of the signature par-4 3rd hole (see photo above). Watching these guys hit over the water to that tiny green was both inspiring and depressing. It must be said and acknowledged: I will never play like that. Ever. Saw all the big boys*, including Vijay, Trevor, Phil, Stuart and Padraig.

Finally we make it back to the 18th for more food and beer. Feeling inspired, we leave early, hoping to get some golf in ourselves. Listen to Vijay win it on the radio on the way home.

After drop offs, brother and I hit the course for “just a few holes”. Of course, I think we ended up playing 11 or 12. Game is looking bad, but some good shots arrived in time for me not to quit the game.

We have dinner at the club, keeping me spoiled rotten. Life is good.

Next: Home of the sliders & keno

*No Tiger. The only bad detail.

The trip, part One

2008-08-10T01:37:00.000-07:00

It’s been a serious whirlwind. One of the few vacations that seemed longer than it actually was. Not because I didn’t love it. I did.

I’ll admit it, I wasn’t really in the mood for Ohio in August. When you live across the country from your hometown and families, it kinda sucks “wasting” vacation time travelling there, instead of, say, someplace with beaches or palm trees or different languages.

As always though, truth called bullshit on me and I had a great time. In fact, some serious firsts – and a ton of fun.

Day 1 – Saturday: Arrived in the morning, picked up the rental car, a Nissan Xterra. I know. I know. I know! Sorry, love driving an SUV when I’m on unfamiliar roads. Plenty of room for bags and one can actually see where one is going. Headed to the in-laws house in my wife's hometown. Hugs and power nap followed.

Proceeded to my hometown to meet up with dad, brother, sister-in-law, sister, brother-in-law, nieces, dad and step mother for a great dinner, then a “concert” on the village green. Lots of evil classic rock and a barrel of laughs. Bro and I snuck off to the local tavern for a beer, more laughs, and a much-needed pee.

Ended the evening at my brother’s club (he lives in a killer Nicklaus golf community) at the end of a huge dinner. Many drinks and we had a lot of fun marveling at a lifestyle that is so different from ours. Added bonus: both my boy and I (he’s 16) enjoyed our evening sojourn to MILF Island. Turns out that money brings a lot of babes. Who knew?

As the night finally wound down, I stayed at my bro’s, and wife and boy cruised back to the in-laws.

Next: A happy trip to rubber city

The Top 30

2008-08-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

I've resisted doing this for years, but here it is. My top 30 favorite rock acts. See next week for my top 30 hip hop artists.

The Beatles
Cheap Trick
The Kinks
Tom Petty
R.E.M.
Robyn Hitchcock
Pink Floyd
Wilco
The Beach Boys
The Rolling Stones
Big Star
The Byrds
Queen
Bob Dylan
The Who
The Monkees
The Velvet Underground
XTC
Neil Young
The Clash
Elvis Costello
Electric Light Orchestra
Jonathan Richman
Elliott Smith
Liz Phair
Guided By Voices
Yo La Tengo
The Replacements
Bruce Springsteen
Nirvana

Interesting, now that I lay it out. You have the seminal 60's artists: Beatles, Kinks, Beach Boys, Stones, Dylan, Byrds, Who, VU and Neil Young. And The Monkees, my first love.

Then the cult 70's power-poppers: Big Star, Cheap Trick, Electric Light Orchestra, XTC

The mainstream heavy-hitters: Pink Floyd, Queen, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen

The palatable punks: The Clash, Elvis Costello

The college rock mainstays: R.E.M., Robyn Hitchcock, The Replacements

The 90's alternatives: Elliott Smith, Liz Phair, Nirvana, Guided By Voices, Yo La Tengo, Wilco

And then whatever Jonathan Richman is, God bless 'im.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame Yankee Foxtrot

2008-08-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

A somewhat surreal appearance by Jeff Tweedy and Wilco at a recent Cubs game. I guess after headlining Lollapalooza, the next step is stadiums....

While we're on the subject of music and baseball, our buddy Marty (also known as the drummer for Los Estimlantes) is on a somewhat quixotic road trip: 10 Games in 10 Days.

Thanks to PopCandy for the video.

Men & Aging

2008-08-04T15:19:00.001-07:00

Nice piece on aging by Generation X author Douglas Coupland:

"I have this theory about men and aging. We have two ages: the age we really are, and the age we are in our heads. Most men are almost always about 31 or 32 in their heads — just ask them. Even Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons” is 31 in his head. One of the most universal adult male experiences is of standing before a mirror and saying, "I'm sorry, but there's been a horrible mistake. You see, that's not really me in the mirror there. The real me is tanned, throws Frisbees, and kayaks the Columbia River estuary without cracking a sweat."

Hipster alert!

2008-08-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Pabst lovers, there will soon by a new old beer to ironically embrace - because Schlitz is back!

For some reason, I have warm memories of drinking Schlitz, but according to the timeline it would have been during the decline and fall of the Foamin' Empire. Maybe it's that vintage Schlitz poster I've had forever, with the suburban 60's dad drinking a brew and flying a kite with his tow-headed son, that gives me the warm and fuzzies. Ah, kite flying - is there a more iconic image of parent-child funtime? I remember going to fly kites with my dad. The kite was actually shaped like a blimp and he kept muttering about the Hindenburg, but it was still a good time.

Goodbye, Chester

2008-08-01T12:44:00.000-07:00

I was very sad to learn that Chester Yeom passed away last night. He used to own the convenience store by my old house in Westmoreland. He was a friendly and positive guy and he always greeted me by name whenever I stopped in. We used to say, "Hey, I'm walking down Chester's. Need anything?" It wasn't like going to the typical ratty bodega. He really felt like part of the neighborhood. He took polaroids of all his customers and hung them on the walls.

A year and a half ago he filled in for a friend at another convenience store on Belmont and was shot during an armed robbery and was paralyzed from the neck down. It was a real tragedy. It's always tough when one of the good ones go...

Ballsy Ad

2008-07-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Nike and Weiden + Kennedy have egg (not balls) on their face after having to retract these supposedly homophobic print ads. I agree with one of the commenters, it seems more sophomoric than homophobic. Luckily for me, I'm not sophophobic. That's why I made jokes about balls, too.

Thanks, Willamette Week.

A diversion

2008-07-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

wtflickr.com

Truth

2008-07-28T11:32:00.001-07:00

Too many channels

2008-07-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

I love having all the television choices available these days, but damn. Remember when you'd use a NUMBER to talk about a channel?

"Hey, what's on channel five tonight?"
"Happy Days, dude!"

Now, forget about it. When's the last time someone asked, "Did you watch 238 last night?" Seriously, when I decide I want to watch something on AMC, I better start channel surfing 10 minutes before it starts. Who the hell remembers what the number is for that?

This may explain why I never watch SPIKE. Even more so, it explains why I never saw these most excellent commercials for the Star Wars movies.

Nothing is sacred

2008-07-24T10:27:00.003-07:00

Everything is for sale. Even seminal movies from our past.

I shouldn't be surprised. After all, it's happened before with far more important influences.

Triple Callback Afternoon

2008-07-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

No it's not a new sex maneuver or a forgotten psychedelic band from the 60's. This article serendipitously ties together Crustodio's Feist post, our recent conversation about Lames Taylor and my frightening resemblance to Mike Mills.

Ole!

The Ultimate Battle

2008-07-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

I was just talking about Battle of the Network Stars, one of my favorite shows from childhood. Maybe at out next college buddies reunion in 2012, we'll do our own version of this. The West Coast vs Jesusland.

I still have vivid memories of a feisty Robert Conrad and his tiff with a laid-back and cool Gabe Kaplan. Well, here's the evidence: The Popcorn Trick has a long and delightful write-up from the 1976 season. That first season with Kaplan, Conrad and Telly Savalas was pure gold - and pure testosterone. By 1980 the captains had degraded to the likes of John Davidson, Jamie Farr and Arte Johnson. Quite a comedown. Though I would like to see the 1983 crew of William Shatner, William Devane and Mr. T!

Back in '76 when I was an impressionable 6th grader, I was a TV junkie and knew every one of these jokers. I was thinking I would like to see a modern version of this, but I really don't watch enough network tv to really be that excited about any of the "stars". Could they do a premium cable version? I want to see James Gandolfini square off against Larry David.

Thanks to PopCandy for the tip.

A conversation

2008-07-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

Crustodiodio (3:53:18 PM): you're going to be sooo envious of me
Crustodiodio (3:53:28 PM): I am seeing a concert tonight - but not at the gorge

Pete Best (3:53:40 PM): Ray Davies?

Crustodiodio (3:53:53 PM): the "envious" was sarcastic this time
Crustodiodio (3:54:13 PM): you have three guesses, and you may not need all of them

Pete Best (3:54:34 PM): Did the wife pick it?

Crustodiodio (3:54:36 PM): yep
Crustodiodio (3:54:44 PM): but you could be making fun of me too
Crustodiodio (3:55:07 PM): no fair looking for concerts online

Pete Best (3:55:19 PM): give me a hint
Pete Best (3:55:23 PM): not a song

Crustodiodio (3:55:31 PM): you had to hear plenty of it

Pete Best (3:55:34 PM): just general genre maybe

Crustodiodio (3:55:46 PM): zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Pete Best (3:55:50 PM): Manilow?

Crustodiodio (3:55:53 PM): nope
Crustodiodio (3:56:04 PM): soft

Pete Best (3:56:28 PM): air supply?

Crustodiodio (3:56:39 PM): your two guesses are too far out

Pete Best (3:56:50 PM): is it classic era or newish
Pete Best (3:56:58 PM): Josh Groban?

Crustodiodio (3:57:03 PM): old
Crustodiodio (3:57:08 PM): classic
Crustodiodio (3:57:09 PM): soft

Pete Best (3:57:21 PM): James Taylor?

Crustodiodio (3:57:28 PM): Zing!
Crustodiodio (3:58:04 PM): at the St. Michelle winery on a sunny night, so that should be cool

Pete Best (3:58:20 PM): wait - it is JT?

Crustodiodio (3:58:22 PM): yes

Pete Best (3:58:32 PM): and you're complaining?

Crustodiodio (3:58:39 PM): no - just that you would laugh

Pete Best (3:58:42 PM): who ARE YOU??

Crustodiodio (3:58:44 PM): I'm looking forward to it
Crustodiodio (3:59:07 PM): but, let's face it, in a reminiscing way

Pete Best (4:00:29 PM): it's amazing
Pete Best (4:01:49 PM): any other artist from the 60's/70's who was a heroin addict, committed to an insane asylum and boned Carly Simon should somehow be cool. But, no.

Crustodiodio (4:01:57 PM): just smooth

Pete Best (4:03:36 PM): smooth is scary

Crustodiodio (4:06:20 PM): are we talking about your shaved balls again?

Pete Best (4:06:35 PM): when aren't we?

Rush to Judgement

2008-07-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

If I haven't apologized to Crustodio for this in a while, I'm sorry. Once again, I apologize for playing Rush albums and hanging Rush posters in our freshman year dorm room. They are ugly men. And the music is.... not good. But hey, I was 17 in 1982 and I just didn't know any better. In high school, everyone was into metal and hard rock, which I couldn't stand. 2 bands that I hated then, but have now grown to love, were AC/DC and Van Halen.

After all, I had literally never listened to anything except the Monkees and the Beatles (including their solo stuff) until 1980, when I was dragged off to my first concert: Cheap Trick. I was like, "hey, this is just like a modern version of the Beatles" (sort of), and my first steps into contemporary music were taken.

But I still couldn't handle the hard rock and metal stuff. It was just so stupid. And all that wizard/devil/monster iconography? It was strong stuff for a fan of Wings. And the guys and girls who wore their concert shirts with such pride were always the most anti-social stoners and miscreants. I was just so not into it.

And then one day someone played me some Rush. Wait - here's a band playing hard rock, but they have intelligent lyrics? Oh, my God! I was hooked. Now, of course, I look back at Neil Peart's lyrics and cringe. It's funny that now I actually prefer lyrics like "Rock and roll ain't noise polution/It's just rock and roll" (AC/DC) over Peart's twaddle. I think Blender put it best when they voted him the 2nd worst lyricist in rock:

Drummers are good at many things: exploding, drowning in their own vomit, drumming. But the Rush skinsman proved they should never write lyrics—or read books. Peart opuses like “Cygnus X-1” are richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science fiction, steeped in an eighth-grade understanding of Western philosophy. 2112, Rush’s 1976 concept album based on individualist thinker Ayn Rand’s novella Anthem, remains an awe-inspiring low point in the sordid relationship between rock and ideas. Worst lyric: “I stand atop a spiral stair/An oracle confronts me there/He leads me on light years away/Through astral nights, galactic days” (“Oracle: The Dream”).

Word.

But, for a few years I was hooked. I saw the band live 3 times. This was during their heyday, around the release of Moving Pictures, their best album. And I could wear cool concert t-shirts to school the next day. Anything to get over the taint of having worn a homemade Star Trek t-shirt in 7th grade. Which was only once, since it was ripped in my one and only fist fight that very same day. But, I digress.

So, yeah, I was into Rush. And I took my obsession to college and inflicted poor Crustodio with it. For a guy who mostly listened to yacht rock, it was a pretty tough sell. But as time went on and I became aware of new music (God bless you, R.E.M.!), and Rush started releasing synth-heavy, plodding and awful albums, my interest began to wane. Hello, college rock! Goodbye, Rush albums! And off I went, into the land of indie-rock snobbery.

OK, I have a secret. You may have guessed by now. I still fucking love Rush. God damn, they are awesome. I have their entire catalog (well, through Signals) on my iTunes and when I'm alone, I sometimes bust them out. They are the epitome of the guilty pleasure. So, you can imagine how I was pleased to see them make their first television appearance in 30 years on the Colbert Report last week. Say what you will about Mr. Peart, but he got a couple good lines in here:

By the way, I did not put the arrow pointing to Alex's armadillo on the image. That was supplied by some nameless person on Google. But, yeah - it's naaaasty.

Joe is a star

2008-07-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Our buddy Joe is in the latest The Breeders video. He's the dude in the suit.

Definitely the best I've seen him act since his heart-rending portrayal in Who's Life is it Anyway in Dayton, Ohio.

Walk It Off

Way to go, Joe!

1-2-3-4 chickens just back from the shore

2008-07-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

Googlbation

2008-07-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah, you know you do it.

You put your name into Google to see what comes up.

If you're an unlucky soul with a name like Bob Jones, you're kind of screwed. Crustodio and I are both blessed with unusual last names, so we can actually find things about ourselves. I actually have a lot of results, which fall into one of the following categories:

Social networking: tons of these from Linked-In, Friendster, Facebook, MySpace, etc.
Designed by: When I was doing a lot of freelance web design, I always put "Designed by Pete..." at the bottom of the pages.
Music-related: links to old reviews, articles and bookings. These are my favorite. And occasionally, I find something new. Like yesterday, for example!

This review from last year of the 1991 House Levelers album (my first band), was actually very insightful and a lot of fun to read. And, unusually, the writer singled out my songs instead of Grayson's. That never happens - he has such a great, soulful voice that people usually pass over my sub-Gordon Gano yowl.

I like the term "kitschy cool" - could it be that my whiny and weird pop songs are old enough now that they're cool and cult-y, instead of disappointing and annoying? Hmm, well maybe in another 10 years. In any case, thanks, DaSLOB.
Googlbation: successful!

It's almost kind of quintessentially a Portland thing

2008-07-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

My biggest fear and Crustodio's greatest joy: bike rage!

"News of Sunday night's confrontation circulated quickly among officers and reached Officer Robert Pickett, the bureau's unofficial liaison between police and Portland's biking community.

'It's almost kind of quintessentially a Portland thing," Pickett said, after reading the police reports. 'It's too bad there's an 'us vs. them' dynamic.'"

(Photo is unrelated to article)

The ravages of time

2008-07-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

Mr. Best and I are back from our brief sojourn to Southern California.

What an incredible time hanging with old friends, blowing each other truckloads of shit, laughing 'till we cried and consuming many, many beverages.

We may look a bit older than we did 20-some years ago, but I swear these are the EXACT SAME PEOPLE I spent so much time with forever ago. Less hair (for some), more...body (for almost all of us), same brilliant senses of humor, same biting comments...couldn't have been much better.

Above, it is 1985 (86?) and I am contemplating my future loss of hair. And my incredibly bad choice in trousers.

The Graffiti Table goes Hollywood

2008-07-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

The GT is going on location once again. As I mentioned earlier, Crustodio and I are joining 7 other college buddies for a reunion in sunny Hollywood, California. There will be much shit talk and ball busting. There will be swimming and incredibly complicated games made up on the spot. There will be hangovers and talk of getting old. There will be talk of who slept with who 20+ years ago. There will be a vicious game of quarters. Crustodio will lose. Again. I will hog the stereo. And we will video chat with the losers who bailed at the last minute.

I am so excited that it is hard for me to get to bed, even though I have to get up in less than 7 hours. I'm not sure what posts we can deliver this weekend, if any. Be patient with us, dear reader, as we go relive our youth. We made friends for life in college, and we will be with people who "get" us in ways no other friends ever will. Every leap year we are once again the same people we were long ago, when we were still fresh and naive and not beaten down by life. Sure, it's an illusion, but as a wise man once said, use your illusion.

Monty Python, Eddie Izzard, Ricky Gervais and... Jay-Z?

2008-07-02T12:21:00.001-07:00

I love this. At Glastonbury, hip hop superstar Jay-Z struck back in excellent fashion at Oasis's Noel Gallagher, after he proclaimed that “Glastonbury has the tradition of guitar music. I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It's wrong."

Instead of starting up a typical hip hop feud, Jay-Z engaged his very British sense of humor by opening his set with Oasis's hit "Wonderwall".

“That’s my sense of humour. I have a sense of humour like a Brit so I thought people would appreciate that. Noel Gallagher was one of the biggest detractors so I figured that was a cool way to start the show.”

More here.

His version is crap, but I love the gesture. And it's great to see the entire crowd sing the song back at him.

You know, the whole Oasis/Bluir feud of the 90's would have been a lot more interesting if they had indulged in some gansta-style drive-bys and beatdowns...

Not bad

2008-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

There have been a ton of videos out there like this one, but hey, pretty nice execution here.

Totally 80's

2008-06-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

Crustodio and I are gearing up for our "college buddies" reunion, which is a week from today. This will be the third time we've gotten together with the same crew since 2000. In 2004 we spent a long weekend on a houseboat on Lake Mead. That was really cool, but actually ended up being more of an adventure than we had planned for. This year, we are all about comfort and ease, so we are staying at our buddy Brad's large house in L.A.

In preparation, I've been working on expanding my already large 80's music collection. I've been searching for digital versions of a few albums in my collection that I only have on vinyl. I think I have pretty good taste in music, and I obsessively keep up with all the new hip stuff. Actually, a co-worker tried to turn me on to the Fleet Foxes last week, but I had to smugly remind him that I had already tried to fob them off on him the week before. But, the stuff that's been trickling in lately is definitely not hip or current and probably not that "good" either - but I love it anyway.

First was The Knife Feels Like Justice, the first solo album from the Stray Cats' Brian Setzer. This 1986 album was a surprising move away from rockabilly to a more roots-rock sound. It was produced by Don Gehman, who was the hot rootsy guitar rock producer of the day, also responsible for John Mellencamp's Scarecrow and R.E.M.'s Lifes Rich Pageant. The first half (or "side 1" as we used to say back in the day) of the record is absolutely solid, but the second half kind of peters out.

Next up was Joe Jackson's Big World album. I was a big Joe fan for the start of his career, but I felt that this was his last really good album. I think I got the next 2, but they were pretty disappointing. Big World was recorded live before an audience that not only didn't know the material, but were asked to refrain from applause! Ah, Joe, always up to something new. Still, it paid off, since it has a really unique feel and some great songs.

Originally it was released as a 3-sided album - there were 2 records, but side 4 was blank. I guess he had too much good stuff for one record and not enough for a true double album. That's one of the curses of the CD age. Everybody thinks they need to fill up 74 minutes of music. Hey rockers, guess what? You DO NOT have that much good material. All the great double albums of the past easily fit on one disc now, and even with those classics there's still filler. I'd rather have a solid 35 minute record, than a hit or miss hour long snoozefest. So, thank you R.E.M. for bringing brevity back.

This reminds me of my one Joe Jackson anecdote, which I will have to tell in a different post or this will never get done. So stay tuned for that one.

Third to arrive was the Tubes' Love Bomb. This was the last album recorded with the original line up, and their second with Todd Rundgren as producer. I can't wholeheartedly recommend this album, as it is pretty dated sounding and has the sort of lame Philly soul/keyboard cheese that Rundgren brought to his own wretched solo albums. Also, lead singer Fee Waybill was apparently feuding with some of the other band members and he doesn't sing lead on all the tracks, much to their detriment. Still, it is a pretty cool record for one reason. Side 2 is a seamless string of music which incorporates 9 different songs, including reprises, much like side 2 of Abbey Road. They are linked together by the drums, which basically play straight through for 25 minutes. Yah for Prairie Prince! Some of the songs are full-length and some are snippets, including a goof where they play "Wooly Bully" in one channel and "Theme from A Summer Place" in the other. Amazingly, it works. So, not a great one, but still enjoyable.

Last night I finally got the last one: Steady Nerves by Graham Parker & the Shot. Like Big World, this one still stands up, though it's slightly marred by bad 80's production. Parker's career has had many ups and downs and lots of record label fights. This was the start of his second classic period, soon to be followed up by the excellent Mona Lisa's Sister. He was still working with Brinsley Schwartz from the Rumour, but for this album he came up with a new backing band name. He never used the Shot again, and I think he's billed himself as a solo act since. In any case, this is by far his most catchy and poppy record, yet his lyrics are as biting as ever. A great combination. It also features his only Top 40 hit, "Wake Up (Next to You)".

The interesting thing has been how my brain responds to this music. Most of this stuff I really haven't heard for 20 years and not at all since my iTunes revolution of 2002. On the first listen it 's like discovering it all over again, but by the third listen it's like my brain finally catches up and I'm sort of sick of it. I think I'm overdosing on this 80's stuff. By the time I get back from the reunion I won't want to listen to any of this shit again for a year.

And so it begins

2008-06-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

Spanish parliament to extend rights to apes.

If one of the chimps at the Spain zoo starts talking, quietly kill it. Seriously.

Thanks, Joe

Equal Time Deserved

2008-06-25T07:59:00.001-07:00

In response to this post drooling all over my man crush, it's only fair that this point of view should be recognized as well.

Where we get our ideas

2008-06-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Debbie Millman

A tiny eulogy for the ultimate contrarian

2008-06-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

Wow.

George.

Harsh.

This, my friends, is a huge loss. Lenny Bruce opened the door and George jumped in. God love him. Oh wait, George isn't on the believe wagon. I love that.

I'll tell ya the truth. In the last few years, George lost a tiny edge. Not his delivery. Not his timing. To me, he sacrificed not-bad people for the joke more often than I would have liked. He had better aim before.

But he sure gave a big FU to the people that needed it too.

And there's the key. I disagreed often with George recently, but when a man loves the language so very much, then one must applaud.

And when that voice flips off the enemy - in front a huge audience - that voice demands admiration.

Lastly, let's tell the truth here. Losing George means we're all getting old. And that..while we can embrace it from time to time...sucks.

Good night, vulgarian/contrarian

Sleep well.

Time marches on

2008-06-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

Five points to the first commenter with the name of this man.

A legend goes on sabbatical

2008-06-20T20:30:00.001-07:00

Pete, stop reading now. This may be your least favorite subject ever, after real-life witches and cock tattoos.

As everyone knows by now, Tiger Woods is out for the rest of the year. Sure, it's no tragedy, but the news truly sucks. I wasn't into golf enough when I was little, so I never really followed Jack's amazing career. Thankfully I did catch the miracle of '86, and that was all I needed to become a golf fan.

Tiger is Michael Jordan, Jim Brown, Wayne Gretzky, Babe Ruth. He's changed the game in so many ways - and we're lucky enough to witness sports history as it happens.

His performance over last weekend already reached an instant-classic status, and now it will be legendary. Five days of golf, 91 holes, on a knee recovering from surgery, an additional ligament tear and TWO stress fractures in his leg. And he won the freakin' US Open. His 14th major. Only five more to go to beat Jack.

Let's hope his legs comes back strong and that he can meet his destiny. I've been watching and waiting for over ten years now, and I can't wait to be a witness.

By the way, I do have that final playoff round sitting in my DVR. I may never erase it.

Something that sounds like a Jesus Jones B-side

2008-06-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

9 tracks from Guns N" Roses long, long, long-awaited Chinese Democracy leaked yesterday, and the reviews are not good. The history of this album is so absurd, I can't believe it hasn't been captured on a reality tv series. You know you're in bad shape when a major softdrink company offers to give free drinks to everyone in America if your album is released after 14 years in the making. I wish A-1 would send everyone in America a free bottle of steak sauce if Crustodio would finally pay me the $11.83 he owes me from our 1986 power bill.

Potentially Good Movie Ahead

2008-06-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Looks like Full Grown Men is getting a lot of buzz before it's limited release next week.

With a talent-ridden cast that includes Judah Friedlander, Alan Cumming, Amy Sedaris and Debbie Harry, the hype may be real. In addition to the trailer on the official site, Apple has a second version that looks like it was cut to be a little more mainstream.

These outtakes from an Amy Sedaris scene give me hope that it could turn out to be an instant classic.

For the Theater major in all of us...

2008-06-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

Hamlet 2, the upcoming film with the brilliant actor Steve Coogan, looks pretty great. Or, at least seems to have good potential, judging from the trailer. There's something inherently funny about high school theater, and Crustodio and I should know, since we were both drama geeks....

A sweet & sexy diversion

2008-06-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

Hi Graffiti Table. How was your day? Look, we can't lie anymore. We've been through a lot together and I have to tell you the truth. We've found a younger & prettier thing to hang around with for a while.

Yo blog, don't get all crazy about it. Shit happens. And it's not all our fault, you know. It's not like you're perfect, so get off your fucking high horse.

Twitter doesn't nag us. Doesn't wonder where we've been. Never complains if we don't have much to say.

And when we want satisfaction, Twitter is always there. And the issue of "commitment" never comes up. 140 characters or less. That's like a blog's version of a nooner.

Don't worry Graffiti Table. Truth is, we still love you. Just let us have our mid-Internet-life crisis and we'll come crawling back eventually. When that time comes, I'd rather we all just pretend it never happened.

We love Twitter, but we're not in love with Twitter, you know? You're still our favorite online bitch, I promise.

Late to the party

2008-06-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

I’ve never exactly been on the ball when it comes to finding incredible music. I rely on Pete a lot for that. So, this morning, I was totally floored by a documentary I just finished watching, The Devil and Daniel Johnston. It’s won awards, did the Sundance thing…the whole shebang.

Um…wow. How come you never told me about this dude, Pete?

The movie is simply compelling. It tells the story of Daniel Johnston, a manic-depressive musician who’s self-destructive behavior – including an epic battle in his mind against the devil – almost destroys any chance of his art reaching an audience.

The film is an unflinching look at a very disturbed man, but told with a beautiful embrace of compassion. The director is very obviously a fan. This isn’t a detriment to the story, but rather necessary. In the hands of the wrong person, it could have ended up very heavy-handed and without much of a heart.

And his music...jesus.

If, by chance, you’ve never heard of Daniel – just as I hadn’t – you’ll be glad I’m not sharing much more than this.

Find this movie on cable like I did, or go rent it. Whatever it takes.

I think it would be impossible for any type of artist to walk away from this without a pocketful of questions about their own journey.

I have to go buy some music now.

Guffaw

2008-06-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

From always entertaining Mr. Baldwin of Defective Yeti

Too true

2008-06-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hey, Look - a great article by Simon Rich in The New Yorker pokes a brilliant finger at the insecurities of our youth. "What I imagined the people around me were saying when I was..."

Particularly wonderful example:

Thirteen:

“Hey, look, that thirteen-year-old is walking around with his mom!”

“Where?”

“There—in front of the supermarket!”

“Oh, my God! That kid is way too old to be hanging out with his mom. Even though I’ve never met him, I can tell he’s a complete loser.”

“Wait a minute. He’s scowling at her and rolling his eyes.”

“Oh, yeah . . . and I think I just heard him curse at her, for no reason.”

“I guess he’s cool after all.”

My contribution:

"Hey, look, that 15-year old kid is putting his hand really close to that 15-year old girl's hand. She'll notice and hold his hand for sure. The way she doesn't put her hand back in her pocket is soooo obvious. She's asking for it!"

Go on - add one of your own, if you dare.

Joe just kicked me in the Cannonballs

2008-06-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

Our buddy Joe at Bite and Smile is not satisfied with being funny and being paid to be funny and being paid to make other people funny. Nope. He has apparently decided that he now wants to conquer the world of Indie rock as well. I view it as a personal attack. Joe, Indie rock is my bailiwick. We all have our little area of the blog world. I write about music and the embarrassing things I do in the bathroom. Crustodio is the guy who posts commercials. And you are the comedy guy with the big serif font and crazy quizzes and the funny make-'em-ups.

But. apparently that's not enough. Now it seems that when Joe isn't teaching at Second City and hanging out with one of the 10 record producers people can mention by name, he's making videos with The Breeders. And he's just so coooool, acting like it's no big deal. I practically had to beg him to spill the beans. You just wait, Joe. Next month I'm hanging out with the original members of the Generic Comedy Troupe*. So suck on that.

*Ok, horrible annoying inside joke. The Generic Comedy Troupe was the improv comedy team that Joe founded in 1982, that also featured Crustodio and myself. Man, we slayed them in Fairborn...

Stuff White People Like? Apparently, Portland...

2008-05-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

There was a front page article in the Times a few days ago about gentrification in Portland, specifically on Alberta St. The accompanying photo was sort of chilling in it's accuracy. That's going to be Mr. and Mrs. Best in a year. I was thinking about writing on it, but I didn't want to be annoying with another "hey, the New York Times wrote an article about Portland again" post.

But then I noticed the folks at Stuff White People Like picked up the story. That's an amusing site, but reading the comments pretty much takes the humor out of it. Apparently white racists aren't in on the joke. I hate it when dumb people ruin funny stuff.

We're about 15 blocks north of Alberta, and it's where we go to eat and hang out. In fact, I had dinner last night with friends at the Tin Shed. I'm not sure why people are worried about gentrifying Alberta St. I got news for you, folks - it's too late. That place was fully taken over by the hipster pod people about 2 years ago. For me, the turning point was when Joe's Place, the last "black" bar on the street was sold and re-opened as a hipster hangout called the Nest. It's the other neighborhoods directly to the north of Alberta that are really starting to get gentrified, including our home base of Woodlawn. I guess we are classic gentrifiers. But, hell, we're not trying to displace anyone. We just needed to find a cheap place to live. We actually chose Northeast over other sections of the city because we wanted diversity. Sigh. There is really no way to defend yourself without sounding like some sort of cliche. Now, excuse me while I put on my Birkenstocks, selet some Modest Mouse on my iPod and go out and wash my Prius.

This looks promising...

2008-05-31T09:24:00.001-07:00

Here's the trailer from the Coen Bros. upcoming comedy Burn After Reading:

Brad Pitt excels at playing dumb guys, but I only enjoy his "dumb" work in a comedy. I can't really stomach him in a straight role.

Ah, June in Oregon

2008-05-30T07:24:00.001-07:00

Summer is starting everywhere else, but not here. June is always one of the crummiest months of the year. Almost without fail, June is a total washout - but when July comes, it finally turns beautiful and stays that way till October. And now we talked about the weather.

UPDATE: It's currently gorgeous here, and I ate my lunch on the roof, basking in the sun.

The Next Big Show

2008-05-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

EW has an article on the upcoming second season of Mad Men. Fire up your dvd player and power through season one, because this show is the shit. It should be on HBO - hell, the creator was a writer for The Sopranos, but the suits passed on it. Idiots. Do yourself a favor and save it on Netflix now - season one comes out on DVD July 1.

R.I.P. Hedley Lamarr

2008-05-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my whole family would gather every week to watch The Carol Burnett Show. Families used to do that. Maybe they still do, but it was a lot easier with only three networks to choose from.

I loved this guy. We should have called him Uncle Harvey. Rest well.

The Shat

2008-05-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

He never fails to surprise. Like that Greek dude who rose from the ashes, the Shat is still around and working it. Impressively.

A TV series, making songs with Ben Folds, a ton of books and enough endorsements to call him the Tiger Woods of senior citizens.

That, my friends, is how you do not go quietly into that good night.

Three Windows That Must Always Be Open

2008-05-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

The Sizzler found and shared the first two:

Sad Trombone
Instant Rimshot

To cap off the trifecta of sound effects to make your coworkers and friends cower when a comedic risk doesn't pay off:

Instant Crickets

If only I could take my laptop to some of the plays I see...

The Evils of Advertising

2008-05-23T16:31:00.001-07:00

I thought they stopped this kind of shit years ago...

Add it to my wish list

2008-05-23T09:34:00.001-07:00

My birthday is several months away, but there's no rule against shopping (and gifting) early.

Just take a short trip to The Burt Reynolds and Friends Museum and shop to my heart's content. I'll love you forever.

On a side note, what's with the "and friends" part? Why can't I pick up a Dom DeLuise fat-man cap a Charles Durning hernia truss or a 45 of "She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)" by Jerry Reed?

Jury Duty

2008-05-22T20:02:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of postings lately. I went in for my jury duty on Tuesday and was assigned to a criminal trial. First time I've ever done anything like this. It should wrap up tomorrow, since we heard the final arguments today. The trial is actually pretty interesting, but of course, I can't disclose anything till it's over. I can't even discuss it with the other jurors, we all just give each other shrugs and funny looks when we're dismissed after every session. It feels weird to miss this much work, especially with the upcoming 3-day weekend. Luckily, my work will pay me during these 4 days. I kinda feel like I'm slacking, but I also feel a lot of responsibility to the trial. After all, someone could go to jail for a very long time and my empathy glands are working over time. Glad I'm not at this trial.

Take Me To the River

2008-05-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

You've probably already read about the record-breaking turnout for the Obama rally in Portland yesterday here, here or here. Some sources are saying 80,000 people. Well, I say 80,000 people and at least one fetus, because Mrs. Best and I were in attendance. It was an unseasonably hot and beautiful weekend, and as Obama says, a spectacular setting for a rally. It actually got a bit too hot for Mrs. Best, so she had to leave a little early.

It was a pain in the ass getting in. The line snaked through block after block of downtown. Luckily we saw some friends and were able to jump ahead in line. We got in just as the Decemberists started their set. They did a surprisingly good job engaging the crowd, including breaking them into sections to sing different vocal lines. I thought the majority of the crowd was sort of befuddled by them, but it was really cool to see them rocking the rally. I was thinking about how I played shows with Colin Meloy some years ago at the Laurelthirst, to a handful of people. This was before the Decemberists existed, and he was just another singer/songwriter with an acoustic guitar. I doubt he remembers me very well, but we had a great time one night doing a duet on Big Star's Thirteen. You've come a long way, baby...

Sometimes I think I am overly sentimental. Maybe it is my German blood. But right before Obama came out, they cranked up Springsteen doing The Rising, which is already one of my favorite songs. The anthemic power of that song in that setting, at that moment, caused me to well up. But luckily, I was wearing my new Elvis shades. TCB, baby.

The speech was pretty good and a good deal tougher than when we had seen him last year. Here's some highlights:

After the rally, I took the Max up to PGE Park to catch the end of the Beavers game with the guys. When I got home, I started searching the web for news of the rally. I saw this story and my jaw dropped when I got to the last few paragraphs. Apparently Bill and Chelsea Clinton were in town yesterday morning, too. And not just in town, but 4 blocks from my house!

Clinton and his daughter began their day at Woodlawn Elementary School in Northeast Portland, promoting the work of the I Have A Dream Foundation, which encourages low-income children to graduate from high school and go to college. Dressed in blue jeans, a black T-shirt and running shoes, the former president spent several minutes on his hands and knees planting tomato seedlings in the school's community garden while providing a running discourse on the best planting methods to a group of youngsters.

I am so bummed that I didn't know about that event. That's where we go walk Lucy. What the hell were they doing in our crummy little out-of-the-way neighborhood? It would have been something to see Bill and Barack in the same day. Even though Bubba is on my shitlist for his recent campaign shenanigans, I still love the guy.

So, how was your weekend? My pix below:

What you'd like is a little more stride in the crotch?

2008-05-16T11:04:00.000-07:00

The Sizzler passed on this piece of real-life comic gold. President Johnson orders pants from Joe Hagar. You can listen to it on the page. In the meantime, this excerpt is priceless:

LBJ: Now the pockets, when you sit down, everything falls out, your money, your knife, everything, so I need at least another inch in the pockets. And another thing - the crotch, down where your nuts hang - is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me, it's just like riding a wire fence. These are almost, these are the best I've had anywhere in the United States,

  JH: Fine 

LBJ: But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me , you never do have much of margin there. See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.

  JH: Right

I LOVE that he carries a knife. What a nut. Speaking of nuts, could "Back to my Bunghole" be the new "Back to School" sale? I'll leave that for Crustodio, the resident ad man, to decide.

Now that I look at it, I'm kind of afraid what he's hiding behind that book in the picture above....

It's a scorcher

2008-05-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week it was in the 50's and raining. Today the predicted high is 97˚ - not quite breaking the previous record of 100, but close enough for me.

Best lunch spot in town

2008-05-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

I love eating my lunch on the roof of the Dekum Building, where my office is located. A beautiful unobstructed view across the Willamette all the way out to Mt Hood. Actually, Crustodio and I had drinks up there the weekend of my wedding a few years ago.

The deck is in disrepair these days, though there are still benches and chairs and a grill. What's missing is shade. There used to be some kind of awning or canvas stretched across the seating area, but it's probably disintegrated since the days when Wieden + Kennedy ruled the roost.

He is such a bastard

2008-05-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

News flash: Portland mayoral candidate Sam Adams is reportedly NOT gay. Or so claims City Commissioner Randy Leonard in this very funny clip. Get this man his own TV show already...

Randy Leonard's Raw Interview from dalas verdugo on Vimeo.

Dares, facial hair and reviews

2008-05-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

It all started with me being lazy. Living in Super Casual Seattle, it’s easy to pass on shaving several days in a row. However, thanks to my half-Filipino blood, I have never been a five-o’clock-shadow guy. What I’m saying here is that after a number of days avoiding the razor, I don’t resemble Grizzly Adams as much as a homeless dude.

So, DAY 5 of not shaving arrives and I resort to the lazy “fix” of shaving just a little around the neck, leaving a short goatee and moustache. Not all bad. In the words of my friend Cory, I “throw down a mean moustache.” According to my son, my goatee and moustache are “Pro”, and that he would “kill for that facial hair.” Keep in mind that he’s 16 and dying for some of his own, but you get the idea.

Fast forward to a week before we leave for Mexico and Cory dares me to leave just the moustache and get a photo of me wearing a sombrero. Harmless enough, so you bet. I’m in.

But wait – there was a catch. I had gotten a little sun in Mexico, so I had to wait to shave after our return. Didn’t want to walk around with a pale patch right under my nose, did I? So wait I did.

Fast forward a couple weeks to me auditioning for my latest show. The director wants to keep the moustache – and could I grow a goatee too? Oh, and don’t cut your hair either if you can get away with that.

Oh fuck, fine. I’m in.

A couple of months later and here I am. So goddamned ready to shave. So f’n ready for a haircut. Seriously, another month and I’ll have a skullet. If that happens, I will have to drink drain opener.

But thankfully, my last day of facial hair is just around the corner, as The American Pilot closes 5/24. It’s been a great run. Very talented people. A few good reviews too.

But holy shit, I can’t wait to be clean-cut me again.