Class of '82

Getting older is a drag. Instead of getting blue, I find it always helps to check in with the "beautiful people" for some perspective. None of these people seem "old" to me:

Sandra Bullock, Nicolas Cage, Cedric the Entertainer, Don Cheadle, Courteney Cox, David Cross, Russell Crowe, Crustodio, Matt Dillon, Calista Flockhart, Crispin Glover, Teri Hatcher, Diana Krall, Laura Linney, Courtney Love, Rob Lowe, Clive Owen, Mary-Louise Parker, Dana Plato, Keanu Reeves, Robbie Rist, Annabella Sciorra, David Spade, Wanda Sykes, Marisa Tomei, and don't forget Patrick "Puddy" Warburton.

And a special shout-out to the only famous person I've found with the same birthday and year. It's Scout Radio crush #1, Janeane Garofalo.

A Best Birthday

If you're so inclined, send a happy birthday to Mr. Best.

He's old, so you may have to shout.

Darjeeling Prologue - FREE

Hey gang, Hotel Chevalier, prologue to The Darjeeling Limited is free on iTunes right now. And rumor has it that we see more of Natalie Portman than we have in the past.

Get it while you can.

Thanks, I Watch Stuff

Ironic Woman

The debut episode of Bionic Woman last night was pretty good, but couldn't hold a candle to the vintage action scenes here:



And was that John Houseman as the Fembot dispatcher?? I wonder if he and former partner Orson Wells ever talked about how great their careers were going.

Thanks Blogtown, PDX for the clip.

Le Pigeon

Le Pigeon gets props in today's New York Times article on the Golden Age of Portland Dining. Wow, I'm living in a Golden Age. Finally! Does this mean my memories of 2007 will now be sepia-toned?

According to Wikipedia, "In literary works, the Golden Age usually ends with a devastating event, which brings about the Fall of Man". That devastating event may have been me going through the drive-thru of Taco Bell at 9:30pm. Sorry, Man.

Though not named in the article, Le Pigeon is owned by Paul Brady, an old friend of Mr. Best. Paul is also half of Portland's premiere Johnny Cash cover band, Counterfeit Cash. Haven't been to the restaurant, but ate at Colleen's, his previous restaurant in the same spot.

Thanks to Scout for the tip.

Reason #345 why I hate the Internet

There are some things I would truly rather not know.

Reason #2389 why I heart the Internet

Just close your eyes and wish for something. And holy shit, it just may come true.

The Monkees on "The Johnny Cash Show"

How Low Can He Go?

That 9/11 whore is at it again.

And did you catch this one? Rudy claimed that he was "at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers." Well, the Times did a bit of fact-checking. Turns out Ghouliani was at Ground Zero a fraction of the time spent by the resuce workers. In fact, he spent 29 hours there, but 58 hours at Yankees games in the same time period. Maybe the other 19 hours were spent boffing his mistress.

A moment of silence, please

Marcel Marceau has passed away.

It's time for Shields and Yarnell to pick up the torch...quietly.

R.I.P. Esmeralda

In 1981, I went to a playwriting festival in Mass. where a mother of a friend was premiering a play. The big draw of the festival was the actress Helen Hayes. Often called "The first lady of the American theater", it was quite a coup to have her attend.

Me? I was 17 years old and all I could really remember her for was her leading role in the immortal, "Herbie Rides Again".

What a dork. Thank God I didn't say anything when I shook her hand.

So, Alice Ghostly has passed away. So very sad to see Esmeralda from Bewitched go. But did you know she was a Tony-award winning actress? Me neither. But I do remember her as the shop teacher in "Grease".

Does this mean that someday people 30 years younger than me will only remember Kristen Chenoweth as the crazy aunt in some future sitcom? Boggles the mind.

Rest well, Ms. Ghostly. You served your profession well.

Not OK-Ville

A good article about one of my favorite pet peeves: how Hollywood always gets New Orleans wrong, in this case the new cop show K-Ville. Here's a great example of the Hollywood stupidity: the producer of the show admits that NO ONE calls NOLA "K-Ville". He just made it up. Asshole.

A lot of people seem to like the Dennis Quaid/Ellen Barkin movie, The Big Easy, but it takes amazingly ludicrous liberties with NOLA. My favorite scene is when they go have a romantic wine and pizza dinner at Tipitina's. Not fucking likely.

Here's a note to all you hacks out there. I lived in New Orleans for almost 10 years and NEVER heard someone with a "Cajun" accent. Geez, Pete, just calm down and listen to good ole Remy McSwain:

"Just relax, darlin'. This is the "Big Easy." Folks have a certain way o' doin' things down here."

ARRGGHHHH!

There is a local accent called "Yat" (as in "where ya at?") and it kinda sounds like a Brooklyn accent from the 40's. It's really great.

And yes, I am getting psyched up for our December visit. Let the good times roll...

Hold the rage, pass the umbrage

Funny article from Time on the Republican's latest weapon: umbrage.

Live Review: The Flaming Lips at the Roseland Theater, Portland, Oregon, September 20th, 2007

Huge symphonic arrangements. Giant blue balloons floating in the audience. 6 dancing girls in Santa outfits stage left, 6 dancing girls in outer space mini-dresses stage right - all aiming high-powered flashlight beams into the crowd. Giant video screen with psychedelic imagery. Large billowing clouds of smoke from the dry ice machine. Strobe lights. And confetti. Lots and lots of confetti.

And that was just the first song.

There is something wildly exhilarating about giant clouds of confetti, it feels like being caught in a very pleasant blizzard. The Lips' stage show is designed for arenas and outdoor festivals. In the modest confines of the Roseland Theater it was a mind-blowing experience. (Though I missed the giant plastic ball.) These guys made it onto a list of the 50 bands to see before you die. Though that list is totally fucked, I can't disagree.

Wayne Coyne is a great showman, though his voice is weak and "pitchy". That may be why they put so much effort into the spectacle. Although there was liberal use of pre-recorded backing tracks in order to recreate the arrangements, the show never seemed canned. Stepehn Drozd is the band's secret weapon. Live he switched from strong backing vocals, lead guitar and keyboards. On record he also plays drums. Their touring drummer was great, and also cued up the backing tracks. Bassist Michael Ivins is still wearing his John Entwhistle skeleton leotard. He sat through most of the show, looked bored and produced some of the most distorted and overdriven bass sounds I've heard in quite a while.

I'm not a big fan of their latest record, but they played good stuff off of Soft Bulletin and Yoshimi. Wayne had a tendency to go on and on between songs and dropped more "motherfuckers" than Snoop Dogg. Whatever. In any case, they are a very "up" and positive band whose goal seems to be to put a smile on everyone's face, without being cheap or cheesy. Few bands can pull that off and it's always a nice change of pace from the tortured artist of the month.

The highlight of the show for me was oddly also the least spectacular. A single keyboard and vocal sing-along to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. To hear several thousand people singing those bizarre and surreal lyrics - it was one of those moments in this American Idol age of mediocrity, when you feel like art has won.

Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body

'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Word.

Matthew McConaughey Owes Owen Big Time

If this works out, it will be the best thing that's happened to him since Dazed and Confused.

He might wanna throw Kate Hudson a buck or two too.

Note Rage

In a copywriting adventure long, long ago, I worked for a well-known dot-com with over 200 employees. Each day - you could count on it - at least a dozen people would receive calls on their cell phones that they had left on their desk. While they were in a meeting. Or at lunch. Or the bathroom. And yeah, it was annoying.

But I don't think anyone ever left a note.



Find this - and other fantastically angry missives - at passiveagressivenotes.com.

With all of the phone applications now, I think the best revenge would be grab the offending phone and use it to buy the worst ringtones possible. The first one to come to mind: My Humps. The song, not the Alanis video.

Add your own horrible ringtone choices in the comments.

Getting it in Seattle

Try all you want, but no one can stop me from riding the S.L.U.T.

Fact Checkers Unit

How is this video not all over the Internet by now? I should have stumbled across this at least 50 times already.

But no. Not until I checked in with Make the Logo Bigger.

Take some time out of your day to watch Fact Checkers Unit, with Bill Murray (and the lovely addition of Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords fame.

This is what the Internet is for - along with skateboard crashes.

Wes Anderson Sells Out

Well, not really. Everything is commercial, so why shouldn't he direct some spots for AT&T? After one night of network television, you could argue that these raise the level of entertainment for the average viewer.

Plus, after Mr. Best's blogsterbation over Wes, it only seems right to share them with y'all.



Thanks, Goldenfiddle


See a bunch more here.

Mining Internet History

After seeing the Internet People! video, I thought it may be a good idea to keep these gems fresh in everyone's minds. Today we revisit The Grape Stompers.

I like this

A good ad (meaning good for both clients and agencies alike) finds a way to highlight the main benefit of a product, while connecting emotionally with consumers. And no, it's nowhere near that simple, but hey, this is a blog not a book.

Keep in mind the following
1. Features (fast connection speeds, less sodium, low prices, etc.) are not benefits (get more done quickly, live healthier, save money, etc.)
2. Benefits work even harder for you when they're extended to real-life wishes(have more time for your family, live to see your kid graduate, save for that dream vacation).

I feel quite certain that both the agency and the client were pleased with this puppy:

I would write a formal obit, but my (blank) is too small.

R.I.P., Ms. Sommers

Is that really the headline?

Everything clicks for Browns

Blink. Blink. Yep, that's what it says.

I saw the whole thing yesterday at our local Browns hangout with over 100 other Browns fans in the Seattle area. That was a seriously exciting game - and the best I've seen the Cleveland offense play since...since...wow, a really f'n long time.

High fives. Yelling. Praying. And, of course, a beer or three. A great, great game.

Did I pick the Browns in my football pool? Of course not. Do I care? Not a chance.

My son plays WOW and hangs out in MySpace

I mean, really, what is he thinking? He should be doing something like this with his time.

Although if he really knew me, the site would be mydadwantstoretireandplaygolfeveryday.com.


Thanks, Presurfer

Not quite the original sin, but close

Saw this on the way to breakfast. A collection of Portland art cars in the parking lot.

Bungaloaded

I love Charles Bukowski. There's a movement in L.A. to save the bungalow where he lived in the late 60's and early 70's, when he transformed from drunken wage slave to drunken writer. He wrote Post Office here, my favorite of his books. He would probably scoff at such an honor. After all, his tombstone reads "Don't Try".

Thanks, Pop Candy.

Are Wayfarers coming back?

Well, that's the rumor on the streets.

Thanks, Pop Candy.

Sorry, sports fans....

I could really give a rat's ass about the NBA, but these poor Jailblazers fans can't seem to catch a break.

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Greg Oden, the top pick in this year's NBA draft, likely will miss his first season with the Portland Trail Blazers after surgery on his right knee Thursday.

Doctors found cartilage damage during an exploratory procedure, and team physician Dr. Don Roberts performed microfracture surgery to repair the damage.

''There are things about this that are positive for Greg. First of all, he is young. The area where the damage was is small and the rest of his knee looked normal,'' Roberts said in a statement. ''All those are good signs for a complete recovery from microfracture surgery.''

The 7-foot center is expected to be on crutches for up to eight weeks. Full recovery likely will take six to 12 months, the team said.

Oden was the No. 1 pick in the June draft out of Ohio State, where he averaged 15.7 points and 9.6 rebounds.

The Blazers scheduled a news conference Thursday to discuss Oden's situation.

''Certainly this is a setback, but our future is still incredibly bright,'' Trail Blazers general manager Kevin Pritchard said. ''Is it disappointing? Yes. However, this is a great core of talent and players of strong character and will continue to be.''

It was Oden's second health problem since the Trail Blazers drafted him. He had a tonsillectomy in July after struggling in two Las Vegas summer league games.

Oden recovered and had been working out in the Portland area. The MRI was taken Thursday, and Oden refrained from working out over the weekend.

Despite being hampered by a wrist injury at Ohio State, Oden led the Buckeyes to the national championship game as a freshman. He had 25 points and 12 rebounds in the loss to Florida.

Oden talked about the injury earlier this week in his blog. He said he had a sharp pain about a month ago when he was on vacation.

''I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to seem like I was complaining or making excuses for anything. Plus I wasn't doing anything at the time I realized it hurt, so I figured it couldn't be anything big,'' he said.

The Blazers open training camp Oct. 2. The regular season opener is at San Antonio on Oct. 30.

Rushmore

Boy, what I great movie. I just love it more and more. In fact, the first 3 Wes Anderson joints are all classics in my book (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums) - all 3 co-written with Owen Wilson. Quality seemed to fall off after The Royal Tenenbaums - is it coincidental that Wes was no longer writing with Owen? I know Owen's been a total movie slut lately, and obviously, he's a troubled guy - but, in my book, he's the real deal.

I could go on forever about Anderson's whole style: casting and recasting wonderful actors, the brilliant production design, the quirky plots and characters, even the sans-serif font (Futura Bold) he uses for the titles - love it all.

But, to keep this fairly short, here are some thoughts after last night's viewing:

- I love the music. Wes and I share the same taste in music: 60's/70's folky, baroque pop. Has there ever been a cooler juxtaposition of image and music than the Who singing "Dang! Dang! Dang!" from the live version of "A Quick One While He's Away" while Max Fisher walks out of the hotel freight elevator in slow motion, having just let bees loose in Herman's room? There are so many moments like that. The use of the Kinks "Nothing In This World Can Stop Me Worrin' Bout That Girl" earlier in the film is masterful, just cut perfectly. Let's not forget the use of under the radar classics like the Creation's "Making Time", Cat Stevens' "Here Comes My Baby" and John Lennon's "Oh Yoko!". Can you imagine if this movie had been scored with the typical Hollywood banality? How about James Brown's "I Got You (I Feel Good)" to lively up that scene? Ugh.

And the closing moments of the film, when Max has the DJ cue up the Face's "Ooh La La". OK, I am a music snob, and this kills me - but I have to admit I wasn't familiar with that song when I first saw the movie in 1998. I've never been a Rod Stewart fan, so I had never explored the Faces catalog. I didn't realize that there were non-Rod songs in their repertoire. The song was written by band members Ronnie Lane (RIP) and (future-Stone) Ron Wood. Ron Wood sings the song, and I gotta say I'd love to hear him sing that during a Rolling Stones concert. Hmmm, well, I'm guessing he probably doesn't have much say in that band. After all, he's still the new guy after 32 years.

- Jason Schwartzman. How the hell did he pull that off? The kid effortlessly carried the movie and held his own with talented vets like Bill Murray and Brian Cox. What an amazing film debut.

- "Oh, are they?" - Max's response to Luke Wilson, explaining that he is wearing OR scrubs. This ad lib (suggested by WIlson) still kills me in the dinner scene. Not to mention Max's pathetic cry, "I wrote a hit play!" That line captures being a drunk 15-year old misfit perfectly.

- Bill Murray's facial expression when he is introduced to Max's father, the dentist (Seymour Cassel) - not the neurosurgeon Max had bragged about. Murray manages to wordlessly convey surprise, heartbreak and compassion in a 2 second span - it is a beautiful moment.

- The exchange between Ms. Cross and Max, when they discuss their dead loved ones. Max's aside, "One dead fingernail" captures the hopelessness of her grief, and the realization that she must move on.

God, there are just so many moments like this. I could go on forever. Ok, here are a few things that bug me every time:

- What is up with the Scottish kid? The whole Scottish brogue thing is just annoying and a distraction. And why is he wearing that cast? Usually, I like little unexplained character quirks, but this one rubs me the wrong way.

- There is a glaringly false moment in the film that pisses me off every time. When Max is finally starting to find his way at Grover Cleveland High, we see him as a male cheerleader. Ok, this is fine, this works with his character. But then, Anderson submits us to a horrible movie cliche - sudden and unexplained physical prowess. Max runs and does a series of running back flips like a world-class gymnast. Not since Don Ameche busted out some break dance moves in Cocoon has there been a more fake moment in a movie. We love Max because he is a goofy guy with great ambitions, but with normal limitations. It makes sense when he is quickly thrown down on the mat in the wrestling sequence. That's the Max we have bought into. I don't know who the hell the guy is doing backflips across the gym. That is not Max. I should just edit that out of my dvd.

- What the hell happened to Olivia Williams? Not since the bizarre disappearance of Karen Allen has someone so talented vanished off the pop culture radar. Rushmore, the Sixth Sense and then.... Jason and the Argonauts? Yeesh.

So, did I make you want to watch this movie right this second? I hope so. I'm ready to put it on again myself.

I think I know that guy...

Crustodio will live forever in banner ad hell...

Where hipsters go to retire

WHY PORTLAND IS AMERICA'S INDIE ROCK MECCA.

My comment on Slate's message board:

"2 of the ladies of Sleater-Kinney were caught cheating by a friend of mine at Beulahland's trivia night several years ago. They were using a cell phone to call their other bandmate at home, who was sitting in front of her computer. In the interest of a good laugh, I reported this to the Willamette Week's music editor and he posted it online, though he didn't name names. One of the band responded to him at the paper that they weren't cheating - they were just smart enough to use outside help! And since there were no rules about this, they weren't actually cheating. Oh, the arrogance. That kind of terminated my mild enjoyment of their vastly overrated indie rock caterwauling.

Anyway, as someone who moved here to play music in 1995, I've been very aware of the influx of musicians - pro and amateur. I say, bring it on. The more, the merrier. Since Portland has no overriding scene or musical style like "grunge" or "jangle", I don't think the scene will get pigeonholed and destroyed like Seattle and Athens. I see it more as a general cool music town like Austin.

The thing is, there are all these big indie bands in town, but it's not like they are really part of the scene. I can't go down to my local watering hole every week and see the Shins play. My enjoyment of the Shins is just like anyone else in a big city. They play a show twice a year at a giant venue. Big deal. Living here means nothing. It's cool that they're here, but they are not part of the scene. "

The Slog

Something that Crustodio and I know very well - the Portland/Seattle slog. Caution: that link contains advertising.

Non-Billable Work

Thanks, American Copywriter

20 Questioned

It's still not just another day. Even out here, so far from Ground Zero. I have nothing new to say about the matter, except that more and more I think it was an inside job.

In December of 2001, David Yeager and I made a short film called 20 Questioned. We put together a list of random questions and asked them of a group of acquaintances and friends. Mostly about 9/11 but with some other unrelated matters. Looking at it now, I am struck by a few things. One, is that, man we were so much younger then. Secondly, this was filmed before the Iraq war so the perspective is interesting. Dr. Frank West, the guy who most seemed like a wacko then, now seems like the smartest damn guy in the film. You can see all of it on YouTube.

The film is actually more fun than it sounds and features many Graffiti Table internet friends, including the Sizzler, Badinia, Scout Radio, Smart Guy, and a members of Tu Fawning, and the Evolutionary Jass Band, plus yours truly.

Tu Fawning

Corrina Repp, my old friend and former partner in the State Flowers, has a new band with her main man Joe Haege called Tu Fawning. No, I don't know what it means. I had heard about the new project, but was shocked to see this shout-out in the Mercury. Way to go, Repp! Pretty damn cool song, too. I've never heard her wail like that before - someone is channeling a little PJ Harvey.

“I’m such a Buckeye.”

Chrissie Hynde held a press conference in Akron, Ohio about her new vegetarian restaurant.

Read the article and check out a video here.

Fright Ranger

We took a day trip up to Mt St Helens yesterday. We stopped at the Coldwater Ridge Visitor Center and were surprised to discover that it's closing permanently this November. Could it be the incredibly out-dated "interactive" displays? The heinous concrete and turquoise color scheme? Or is it the creepiest fucking mannequin in the history of the world?

I snapped a picture of this unpleasant diorama - sadly it doesn't quite capture the pure evil of this interactive experience. In the foreground are some mannequins/statues of attentive tourists and hikers. In order not to distract from the unearthly ranger mannequin's history lesson, they are solid gray. Gee, speaking of history, remember when the mountain exploded and killed all those people, covering them in gray ash?? So, the effect I get from this is a group of undead tourists listening to the creepy ranger creature.

Ok, so what's so creepy about the ranger? They took a mannequin with a blank white face, put it in a ranger uniform, put a wig on it - and then projected a film of a woman's face on it! So the immobile ranger has a ghostly face imprinted on it, with her voice coming through the hidden speakers in the highly stilted over-ennunciated style we've all been subject to at national parks. To see her overly animated features moving on the entirely immobile mannequin is extremely unsettling. It really freaked me out. So, yeah - get your ass up there quick before they tear it down. It's awesome!!

Golden Statue for Dick

Nice. Justin Timberlake and Adam Sandberg won an Emmy for the video "Dick in a Box."

I like Sandberg's quote:

"I think it's safe to say that when we first set out to make this song, we were all thinking, 'Emmy!'"

More then anything else, though, it's a great excuse to watch the still-freakin-funny video.

Internet People!

A jaunty - yes, I said "jaunty" - tribute to some of the icons of Internet subculture. Apparently I spend way too much time in front of a monitor, as I am sadly aware of every reference in this thing. Maybe I should take up scuba diving or something.



Thanks, The Bullshit Observer

Obamarama

We went to see Barack Obama speak on Friday night. I was really looking forward to this, because I am feel very open to being inspired. I was thinking the entire time: "Barack, inspire me".

Sadly, he delivered a 30 minute Standard Stump Speech™. While there where moments where he really pulled me in, the whole thing felt canned. Not to mention, the venue really blew - the Oregon Convention Center. Horrible concrete bunker vibe. There was a decent crowd of around 4300 people. Probably could have been more if they had promoted it more. Not like Portland is all that important in the long run. By the time we get to vote, the nomination will pretty much be settled.

In any case, I bet he had a lot more fun on Saturday, partying at Oprah's Neverland Ranch....

Oprah's place: "A masseuse in a Zen garden. A big pool. Fantastic desserts. P.I.N.K. Vodka."

Oregon Convention Center: Concrete floors, walls, ceilings. Tofu dogs. Bearded people in Birkenstocks and Columbia Sportwear fleece. Vitamin Water.

With all that said, he is still my guy. I sincerely hope he trounces Hilary.

Note: in the photo, Barack is the speck standing in the center of the flag.

Once again, we suck

Welcome to another year. Woof!

The Browns are Undefeated

I can't remember the last time we started a season with somewhat reasonable hopes to reach the playoffs.

Sadly, this year is no exception. Once the storied Cleveland Browns were hijacked to Baltimore, only to became a franchise team four years later - one of the most heinous crimes in NFL history - their 10-year fate was sealed. Thanks, Satan.



But now, right at this moment, the Browns are undefeated. And hey, it's football, right? Anything can happen, right?

Kickoff against the Steelers in 2 hours. Pray for Browns fans. We need it.

Phil Collins Synchronicity

Two ads, same 25-year-old song. Conikidink? Probably.



And I know you don't want to admit it, but if you've ever air-drummed to this song, raise your hand. Yeah, I thought so.

Best drum fill of all time?

Money, honey

I like to think I have some integrity left, but tax refunds turn me into a big money slut. Sure, I know that Oregon's kicker policy is a bad idea, that we could use that surplus money for social services and so on. But the refunds to individual taxpayers are expected to total more than $1 billion this year. Holy crap! Go ahead and put your taxes paid amount in this kicker calculator and tell me you aren't psyched when you see the amount you're getting back. That's some serious cash - and due to arrive on December 15th. Now I can get that diamond-encrusted case for my iPhone that I've been wanting....

Sorry, Crustodio - I guess you Washingtonians will have gruel for Christmas supper again this year...

R.I.P. Mrs Livingston

Oh yeah, The Courtship of Eddie's Father. I was a big fan. I thought Bill Bixby would have been the coolest father ever.

And Mrs. Livingston? How could you not love her.

So it was sad to hear that Miyoshi Umeki has passed away. I never even knew she had won an Oscar. She was just Mrs. Livingston to me - and if she had walked in the door at my house, it would have seemed normal. Like she was about to cook some dinner and give me some helpful advice.

Bob Dylan Message Generator

Bob Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues came out in 1965 - when I was a wee tot of one. And the video he made for it is not only still famous, but often copied.

Now you can create your own message to go with this legendary video.

Here's just an example of what any doofus can do with it.

And yes, it's an advertising thing. A very impressive advertising thing.

Breaking News!

The gang at CNN continues to enlighten us.

Study: Rock stars more likely to die young

The Ragin' Cajun

I love it when people get stone cold busted when they are being nefarious and stupid. I caught this story on Blogtown, PDX. Apparently Food Dude, Portland's most respected food blogger, was served this absolutely charred pork chop at Acadia. Now, I've been to Acadia and it's ok. But it never satisfies my New Orleans food craving. And after living in the Big Sleazy for 9 years, I damn well know what I want. But, that's another post.

Anyway, a number of people went online to defend Acadia - one even went so far as to say they went there "50 times" and never had bad food.

Well, kiddies, let me tell you a little something about technology and this thing we call the internet. You may think you're doing private things and that no one will ever know when you're being naughty, but I have some sad news for you - technology will ALWAYS fuck you in the ass when it can. And, baby, it can.

Here's a quote from the Food Dude in the Comments section on his site:

"Also, this chef may want to keep a more careful eye on his computer, as multiple people seem to be using it to post positive experiences about Acadia At last count, comments on Portland Food & Drink have been made by seven different names from the same IP address of Chef Higg's PC."

Ha - so BUSTED! Chef Higg - you are a dumbass. The IP address got you - duh! If you don't know about stuff like that, you shouldn't be trying to be all sneaky and shit. I told you technology would get you right in your (dumb)ass.

HOT! HOT! HOT!

It's no wonder that Appalachian State "upset" Michigan. With recruiting videos like this, you're bound to get the best of the best on campus.

Breaking News!

Men want hot women, study confirms

North 'Till You Step In It

My mom went to Ohio State. I'm sorry, THE Ohio State University. She even attended the famous Snow Bowl. So, appropriately, we were all raised to hate the team from Ann Arbor. It's so ingrained that I still despise all the characters from The Big Chill because they're wolverines. Bastards.

The joke goes like this:
Ohio Man 1: "How do I get to Michigan?
Ohio Man 2: "Easy. West 'till you smell it, North 'till you step in it."

So it's no surprise that today's news was music to my ears:

"Blocked field goal secures Appalachian State's upset of Michigan"

Suck on that, wolverines! Rodential Glee!