The "1980's Stand Up Hack Theme That's Still True" of the Day

And what is up with the people in line at convenience stores these days? I'm there, grabbing...I don't know...a Coke, some Junior Mints and my monthly copy of Jugs, like a normal guy, you know. Hey, I already loaded up on the condoms, if you know what I mean. But anyway, there's this lady in front of me, picking up a pack of smokes, a huge muffin and her daily dose of lonely despair at the probable fact that she'll live alone for the rest of her life. So anyway, she puts her shit on the counter, watches the cashier dude ring her up - as if she's never been "rung up" in her life, if you know what I mean - and waits to hear the total. THEN AND ONLY THEN DOES SHE REACH INTO HER PURSE TO PAY! What's up with that? Like she didn't know she'd have to pay? Like the cashier was gonna have one look at her and go, "You know. You seem like a nice lady. How about today you don't pay me and just walk out the door?" Seriously. There I am right behind her with my pop, candy and porn and I have a twenty just waiting in my hand. WHY? Because I'm in a hurry lady. I've got 30 glossy pages of big boobs just waiting for me and you're just now counting out a bunch of crumpled singles and fishing for change? Seriously. Go back to your cats and quilts, lady. I'm on a mission and you're just pissing me off.