He Will, He Will... TEACH YOU!

Queen guitarist Brian May is named chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University. He was awarded a PhD for his 48,000 word thesis, A Survey of Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud.

My suggestion for the next thesis? Maintaining the Same Full Poodlecut Haircut for 35 Years in the Everchanging Entertainment Industry.

His first move as chancellor? Free scholarships to all fat-bottomed girls!

One of my favorite things about Queen is that all 4 guys in the band wrote, and all 4 had hits. Everyone knows Freddie's stuff like Bohemian Rhapsody, We Are the Champions, Killer Queen. But May brought it too, with (of course) We Will Rock You, Fat Bottomed Girls, plus Tie Your Mother Down and many others. John Deacon wrote Another One Bites the Dust, You're My Best Friend among others and Roger Taylor had a hit with Radio Ga Ga, plus lucked out with I'm in Love with My Car as the b-side of Bohemian Rhapsody. Roger and Brian also sang lead vocals on a couple songs per album. My favorite Brian May tune that he wrote and sang would be '39 from A Night at the Opera.