Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I sure as fuck do, pal.

I've always loved reading the musician wanted/available listings in the weekly rags. There are always hilarious typos, the abuse of all-caps, exhortations to "fuckin, rock, dude!", weird passive aggressive challenges/invitations to rock, and all the evidence you need to believe in such stereotypes as the moronic, drugged-out butt rocker, the clueless, hopelessly uncool cover band guy, the pompous, egotistical talentless poseur or the snobby, too-cool-to-care indie rocker. The self-delusion in some of these ads never fails to inspire me.

Craigslist is now my new favorite destination for a good chuckle. Here are some recent highlights:

-- Drummer Available for some STONER ROCK! --

Do you like Black Sabbath, Sleep, Kyuss, Clutch(before the sucking began), et cetera?

I sure as fuck do, pal.

I've got a kit, more than a decade of playing, and some mics and so forth. I would be willing to go in on a practice space if things get real tight-like. Let's make some Stoney, Riff Driven rock, and make some people MOVE!

-- looking for teen guitarist for garadge band --

if u want to know more text or call me cause I don't feel like writing more 971 244 2312

-- Drummer Avaliable --

I am seeking a cover band to go out and play, have some fun, and make some cash. I have 30 years experience playing out. Professional gear and a professional attitude, and I do back up vocals. I am NOT looking for a country band, R&B, folk, or an all original band.

I am looking to do songs that people WANT to hear. And this is only a small sample, of what I like to play, and what I have noticed people want to hear.

Mississippi queen, Tom sawyer, Red barchetta, plush, higher ground, girls got rhythm, sex type thing, kryptonite, dam that river, run to you, say hello to heaven, woke up this morning, new sensation, gel, where the river flows, one way to rock, funk 49, brain stew, cumbersome, hard to handle, those shoes, what I like about you, counting blue cars, you really got me now, midnight blue, evenflow, my own worst enemy, mobscene, monkey wrench, smoken, born to be wild, ROCK in the USA, play that funky music white boy, everybody wants you.

Hopefully by now you get the idea of what I am looking for. I am looking to play rock! My influences are on a wide range. Rush, Led Leplin, Metalica, Sammy Hagar, The Eagles, ZZ Top, Foo Fighters, John Cougar Melloncamp, Lit, Van Halen, AC/DC, STP, Red hot chilly peppers, Green day, Billy squire, Boston, ect......

I want to make people forget there crappie work week, and enjoy the music!! If you don't recognize most of the songs on this list, then most likely your project is not what I am looking for.

Good luck in your search, and hope to hear from people with a passion for playing, and playing out in front of a crowd!!!

Sometimes people create new entries just to rag on a previous entry, like this one in response to the ad above:

"Thanks for sharing with us all every song you know and like...
We care! you long winded dickhead. no wonder you're looking for a band."

I don't know about you, but if you're not ready to go out and FUCKING Rock right now, there is something seriously wrong with you. Come on, forget your "crappie" work week already and enjoy the music. Or do you SUCK??

1 comment:

JR Turdlesworth said...

The GT is BACK!!!!

I am totally veklempt, oy...