Wednesday, October 31, 2007

RIP, Unlikely Advertising Hero

Robert Goulet, former star of stage, screen, television - and commercials - has passed away. Can you get more loveable than a self-deprecating, funny, former stud? I think not. Shatner, I'm looking at you too - hang in there.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Ancient History

Must be a slow work day for the Sizzler, here's another nugget from him: a brief history of All Portlanders seem to be proud (or smug) over our homegrown book store. ("It's one whole city block!") But, did you know they sold books online before even Amazon? I love that 1993 is like the dawn of time for all of us Internet types...

This is kind of like getting a text message from your grandmother

The Sizzler turned me on on to Gov Gab, the new fun and friendly federal government blog! See, not everybody in D.C. thinks that the internet is a series of tubes.

"We are federal employees who work in the Office of Citizen Services and Communications at the U.S. General Services Administration. In our daily jobs, we encounter a staggering amount of U.S. government information and services that can benefit your life. From saving money and visiting National Parks to finding out about government auctions and the latest recalls, we want to bring these resources to you in a new way—through our blog."

Hey, these guys aren't so bad, I even found a review of a Thurston Moore show. Alright, government hipster, get your ass back to work. I don't pay taxes so you can get drunk at indie rock concerts, I want to see some futuristic atom bomb shit.

OK, seriously, it seems like a fairly innocuous site, but as the Sizzler mentioned - searching the site for "Iraq" gives you "0 entries found". This may be the only blog in the world that can make that claim.

Here was my search:

Crazy person question of the day

A raving woman of the street screamed this at me repeatedly on my way to work this morning.

"Who has the ugliest legs?


Or women?"

Ah, big city livin'! Can't beat it sometimes...

Monday, October 29, 2007

What I'd do tonight if I wasn't old and tired

Why, I'd go see one of my all time favorite bands, Yo La Tengo at the Aladdin Theater! I've seen the YLT several times and it's always a treat. For those of you who are also missing out, here's a video to tide you over. The (not so funny now as it was in 1997) video for Sugarcube - co-starring the guys from Mr Show.

Formula for Funk

(Bob Fosse + Gwen Verdon)
(1960s x "Walk it Out" by Unk)

Thanks, The Assimilated Negro

When there's no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth

Thanks, Words and Pictures

Getting Away With It

Two ads. Two different eras. Two different types of products. The same...uh...benefit. When I first saw the ad below for All-Bran - after laughing out loud - I thought, "Wow. They really got away with it that time."

Pretty smart ad, really. It's a normal...condition...and it was great to see it handled in a refreshing way. But, again, it seemed like maybe they were pushing standards.

Then I stumbled across this ad from the 60s. And really, it squicks me out. Maybe we handle this kind of subject better these days.

I bet that when an agency lands such an account, after the celebration, the creative team is always smacked in the face with the daunting thought of, "How on earth are we going to attack this one?"

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I'm sore

I've been going to the gym, trying desperately to get into shape. Notice I didn't say, "back into shape", because I have never been in shape. But I was at least fairly skinny. In fact, I used to be referred to as lanky. No one has used that word to describe me in the 21st century. Hopefully, this will soon change. This is what I'm shooting for.

Kick-Ass Quote of the Day

"Exclamation points are the comb-overs of advertising copy."

"A client of mine just ruined some advertising copy by adding a slew of exclamation points.

I tried to talk him out of it. But, I couldn't. It was like trying to talk a bald man out of a comb over: if he didn't know enough not to do it in the first place, there was no way I was going to be able to talk him out of thinking it's a good idea.

Exclamation points do not add excitement, fun or urgency. They just SCREAM at an inappropriate volume.

That's why professional copywriters seldom, if ever, use exclamation points."

Thanks, Advertising Is Good For You

I Need a Raise

Thanks, words and pictures

The Icon That Wouldn't Die

As they say, everyone deserves a second chance.

This is an ad agency's dream. Create a spokes-puppet that you can hire out to your clients. It's a win-win situation. You get cash, they get instant brand equity.

Not sure if that's how it works with this particular super-puppet, but someone is making a mint.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Everybody Loves a Drunken Gay Portland

Another Willamette Week story. Portland has been getting mad love from major media outlets lately. This is something I notice a lot in the New York Times, but it seems to be everywhere now. Scroll down and read the bit about how Portland paid for the love.

But I really like the list of most popular Portland searches:

• Bike-friendly + Portland = 53
• Soggy + Portland = 135
• Vegan + Portland = 159
Beer + Portland = 2,458
• Hipster + Portland = 163
• Dogs + Portland = 197
• Lesbians + Portland = 750
• Liberal + Portland = 1,379
• Ace Hotel + Portland = 52
• Suicide + Portland = 1,134
• Weird + Portland = 742
Sustainable + Portland = 2,242
• Pearl District + Portland = 867
• Marijuana + Portland = 554
Gay + Portland = 2,497
• Coffee + Portland = 316
• Indie + Portland = 72

Beer loses out to Gay. In tribute, here are some slightly phallic Portland beer taps.

A Honus Bonus and Emily Posts

Local rock band the Honus Huffhines got a nice write-up in the Willamette Week today. I actually "audtioned" for these guys earlier this year. Great guys, decent tunes, but it just didn't feel right to me, so I passed. Glad to see they're getting some good press.

I haven't really mentioned this, but I quit the Strange Effects last week. I was happy with the music, but didn't really fit in with the guys very well. I have strong feelings on band etiquette, and these guys were no Emily Posts. It was pretty mutual - they certainly had their reservations about me - and I know I have my own hang-ups. They're not bad guys, we just weren't a good match for each other. The end result was that I was constantly frustrated and annoyed and not having fun - which was the whole point of being in a band.

The second to last straw was when I recorded some keyboard parts on the recordings we're working on. They had some other guy come in and re-do one of my parts - and then didn't tell me. I don't mind the other guy playing the part, I mean I'm all for what sounds best - but to not say anything about it? That is fucked up. LIke I'm not going to notice?? And when I found out about it, the drummer sneered at me, "You're not hurt by that, are you?". Uh, yes I am. Sorry for having feelings, dude.

The last straw was clear to anyone who saw the show with the Black Lips a few weeks ago. Our lead guitarist got so drunk he couldn't play. Unfortunately, this didn't become apparent till we were already on stage and half way through the set. He made a real ass of himself, falling down and playing horribly. When we started the second to last song, his playing was so out of time and out of key that there was no way to continue. The singer put down his guitar and walked off the stage. Fun!

So, that kind of did it for me. No hard feelings or anything - in fact, I'm playing one last show with them in November.

The good news is that local musician about town Ezra Holbrook has offered to record my "solo album". He's been bugging me to record my material for about 8 years - and I've finally taken him up on it. He's a very talented guy - among many other credits, he produced, sang backing vocals, and played drums on the first Decemberists record.

If you asked me what I really needed in order to record a solo album, the answer would be a singing drummer, who is also a great producer and has a recording studio in his house. Enter Ezra...

Stop ignoring the signs

It has begun. Call Charlton Heston STAT.

Attention Women

Stop wearing these.

I know fall is here. I know they're warm. But really, unless you're toiling in the the Australian outback, stop.

That is all.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The ultimate honor for a revered political figure

Green is Whorish

Rolling Stone is kind enough to share their 25 Greatest Moments from The Office.

This is probably my favorite:

Thanks, Pop Candy

Warning: Sanity Ahead

Live Fast, Die Awesome

Just found this link to a site that shows the most recent 50 images uploaded to LiveJournal, a blogging site. It's pretty cool because there are just so damn many of them - and they're totally random (like the one above). It really illustrates just how many people are actually out there blogging and journaling.

Careful, there are occasional NSFW items here.

UPDATE: I just checked the page again, right after I posted and saw this one:


Mulholland goes Beverly Hills

Not to be outdone by fellow "quirky" director Wes Anderson, David Lynch has hopped on the commercial train with this spot for Gucci.

If this were a scene in one of his movies, I'd assume that someone is about to be violently murdered. It scares me.

Not that I recommend it (I don't), but here's the mandatory "behind the scenes" video. As one of the comments says, "David Lynch is a twat."

Monday, October 22, 2007

Holy Hallowienerschnitzel!

I've been trying to figure out why I have no interest in Halloween. After viewing the 30 Most Unsettling German Halloween Costumes, I realize this is probably a good thing, with me being 100% Kraut and all.

Thanks, Blogtown, PDX.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007

Old Man

The Onion AV Club has a great Neil Young primer. Check it out.

From Fire Crotch to Fire Phasers

Well, it looks like the casting is finally done on the new Star Trek movie. Chris Pine, who as far as I can tell hasn't ever been in anything good (except maybe Lindsey Lohan), has been cast as Kirk. And one of the dudes from Lord of the Rings has been cast as McCoy, creating a ripple in space/time reality for millions of geeks the world over.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hard Drive Gets Hard Time

Death Cab for Cutie guitarist (and Portland resident) Chris Wall had a hard drive full of unmixed songs confiscated at the U.S. border. There was some speculation the drive was seized because of the political nature of the songs within. I'm pretty skeptical that Customs could determine that in any way whatsoever - unless they have some new technology that can quickly convert .wav files to written lyrics. Next time, maybe they'll send those files back via the Postal Service. (Sorry, it was too easy.)

The whole thing created a bit of media frenzy for Customs, especially when Walla later jokingly made a Guantanamo Bay reference. As the guy from his label says, "And now at least everyone knows Chris Walla has a solo record coming out."



This is old news, but I finally got around to reading it. Stephen Colbert did a guest Op-Ed in the Times, filling in for Maureen Dowd. And as he says:

"Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

I don't often laugh out loud while reading the Times, but this one got me.

All dead, all dead.

R.I.P. Joey


Yo, readers. All 6 of you. I'm in Atlanta for a couple of days doing the work thing.

It's like, hot, here.

Lovely though. And with just a little bit of luck, I should be free as a bird (by 8:00 EST.) to sit in some Atlanta sports bar to watch the Tribe wrap up the ALCS. You hear me boys? Tonight. In Cleveland. Do it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Holy crap

It's a good year to be an Indians fan. Yeah, I said it. After last night's 7-3 victory over the "pretending-to-be-a-ragtag-group-of-everyday-joes-but-really-the-second-highest-payroll-in baseball" Red Sox, it looks really good for the Tribe. Of course, one just has to look at 2004 and the Bo Sox come from 3-0 deficit against the Yankees to know that it ain't over yet.

And if you're any kind of Cleveland fan, you know that for a fact.

But if C.C. and Fausto find their regular season form, the World Series for the boys from Cleveland is almost a foregone conclusion.

Go Tribe! Game 5 - Thursday - 8p.m. ET/5p.m. PT

Bizarre note: I can't believe it's taken me decades to realize the irony of the Cleveland Indians using the "doo-doo-do-doooo-do-do" calvary charge as a rallying cry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Indie schlock

A couple of items from Pitchfork. First, indie rock comes to the comic strip world.

Secondly, the White Stripes are now selling cameras. These actually look pretty cool....

Friday, October 12, 2007

The next meme

It has to be, doesn't it?

Thursday, October 11, 2007


This is where my tax money is going?

I'm looking forward to the government's next ad campaign about how masturbation makes you go blind. Wait 'till your married? MARRIED? SERIOUSLY? I won't give that advice to my son, let alone an entire country of children. Why? Because it isn't even close to realistic.

I'm really pissed off about this. Abstinence programs don't work. Jesus. Teach them about safe sex, not some impossible, holier-than-though, head-in-the-sand, religion-based bullshit. It's all another part of the insane right-wing agenda that doesn't even allow 10% of Americans to marry the partner of their choice. So 1 out of 10 American kids are being told to never have sex? Abso-fucking-loutly ridiculous.

Well, thank God our president at least makes sure all kids have health care. Oh wait. He doesn't. Where the fuck are their priorities? Shame on all of them.

Thanks, Think Progress

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom

Thanks, adfreak

The Chuckster

Dooce is famous. Dooce writes very well. Dooce also takes pictures of her dog Chuck every day. Every day I click because , well, damn, just LOOK at him.

Get a dog. Live a better life.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Colors are Back

Here's the third installment of the Sony Bravia "Colors" ads. Out in the ad world, there are a bunch of mixed reviews, but count me in as a fan. A big fan.

The Graffiti Table blogged about the first "Colors" ad here.

Cold Hands, Black Lips

I'm getting excited for our big show this Saturday, opening for the Black Lips. Check out the video:

Ready for Petty

More on Tom Petty and the resurgence of music movies in the Times.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Warning Cookie?

Geez, what is this world coming to? Here's my fortune cookie message from today's lunch:

You are wise to keep your eyes wide open at all times this week.

Maybe this is a new style of fortunes we'll be getting in the twilight of the Bush era.

"Don't overuse free speech."

"You are being watched."

"Disagreeing with the goverment is unpatriotic."

Actually, the best fortune I ever saw, was many years ago in New Orleans. It was the only fortune I've ever seen that had a 99.9% chance of being correct:

"You like Chinese food".

No lie.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

Attention Tom Petty fans (I guess that's probably everybody, really. I mean, who doesn't love the T.P.?):

The new documentary Running Down a Dream will be available on dvd on October 16th only at Best Buy. It's playing in a few select theaters on the 15th, but not in PDX. It is playing in Seattle - so Crustodio, get your ass out there.

What is this Best Buy-only shit? How weird is that? It actually works out for me, since I have some in-store credit there. Why isn't this flick in the theaters? Surely there is an audience for this, at least in the art houses.

The film is directed by Peter Bogdanovich, who had an incredible early career (Last Picture Show,Paper Moon, What's Up. Doc?) and then tumbled into disrepute after troubled relationship with Cybill Shepherd and murdered playmate Dorothy Stratton. He's recently made a public comeback in his role as Dr. Melfi's therapist on The Sopranos.

Crust & Best IM

Crust (10:12:01 AM): Tom sure is firing off the emails
Best (10:12:19 AM): he's always been an early responder
Crust (10:12:27 AM): that's what beth said
Crust(10:12:32 AM): ba-da-bing!
Best (10:12:51 AM): cricket

Happy Days in the Bronx

I made a point of not writing about my boys heading off to the playoffs. If you've ever known an Indians fan, you know that we're a superstitious group. And facing the Yankees? The f'n Yankees? I thought I better lay low and keep the jinx off.

But the young guns did it
. With, of course, the help of my man, the 40-year-old veteran, the forever-young Kenny Lofton. That dude rules.

Now onto the Bo Sox. With our rotation intact and ready to go, we should at least give them a run. Keep 'em crossed, Tribe fans. And don't jinx a goddamn thing.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Goofus and Gallant

I still reference this Highlights cartoon from time to time, especially when I or a friend do something totally stupid or selfish.

For example, Goofus posts a 10 minute NSFW video on his blog. Gallant only posts short videos and always adds a warning if there's anything naughty.

This post is not in reference to Crustodio's previous post, videos just make a good example. It's actually inspired by my boss borrowing my scissors a few days ago and then leaving them in someone else's office.

Here's McSweeney's take on it.

Take Your Focus Group and Shove It

I've been through my share of these. Bottom line? People are stupid.

Thanks, Adverganza


Noted stage actor and Tony award winner George Grizzard died yesterday. While he may be most famous for originating the role of George in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? on Broadway (or for the uncultured in the house, his role as Tom Hank's future father-in-law in Bachelor Party), I will always remember him for the best put-down of all time™.

Let me set the stage. Crustodio and I were Theater majors at a small midwestern college. Mr. Grizzard has been invited to appear in production of Equus - you know, the play where Harry Potter gets naked.

George was an okay guy, about what you would expect from a professional actor. He hung out a bit, and was fairly approachable.

So, we had a classmate named Michael Fry who was a bit of a buffoon. Not a bad guy really, but at the time he was really obnoxious. He was a kind of interesting character, in that he was sort of a blue collar, stoner, hesher type guy, but he was also very "theatrical" and really into acting- sadly, without a whit of talent. Enthusiastic, loud, outgoing and overbearing, he was also a closetalker and his usual outfit was a wifebeater t-shirt paired with tight blue jeans tucked into moccasin boots.

One day between classes, we ran into George Grizzard in the hallway. We all sort of mumbled "hello" and went on our way, except Michael - who, in his inimitable fashion, loudly greeted him.

Michael Fry:

"Hey, man, have a great show tonight! I'm gonna be there."


George Grizzard:


Michael Fry left speechless, for the first time ever.

... and SCENE!

The end.

Case Study

Our friend Marty has become a case study. I've often thought he should be under strict 24-hour observation, but this is a a little different.

Or maybe it should be Case Studly - check out these raves: "Bold masculine identity, smart and unforgettable."

Clooney wishes he got reviews like that....

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Not something you see every day

A police car with a No Parking ticket. Wha-?

For some reason, I was nervous taking this picture, like I was going to get in trouble. It's still subtle, but the fear is there - thanks to our budding Fascist Police State.

Late breaking link: Cops Writing Cops. Thanks, Crustodio.

Old Believers tonight

Check these kids out tonight, if you get a chance. Even the DubDub is pimping them now. Don't not go.

So not news

Jesus, CNN. What are you now? Access Hollywood?

Seriously, cut it out. No more Britney, Paris, Lindsay, Porn Stars, Perez, TMZ, or anything else that ISN'T FUCKING NEWS. DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB.


Best & Crust IM

best (12:43:05 PM): watch that 5 Days thing on HBO last night?
crust (12:43:24 PM): no - didn't even hear about it
best (12:44:11 PM):
best (12:44:21 PM): Really good, but very intense
crust (12:44:50 PM): sure sign we are getting old - that there is a "but" in that sentence instead of an "and"

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Wait for the Beep

CAUTION: Severe flashback imminent

The Price is Right

What would you pay for a new Radiohead album? Responsible for 2 of the best albums of the 90's (OK Computer and The Bends), in recent years the band has slowly disappeared up it's own asshole, their quest for experimentation and innovation resulting in a string of boring and joyless albums.

In a genius move, they are offering their new record on their website for any price you want to pay. I'd pay 50 bucks for another OK Computer. They owe me money for crap like Hail To the Thief.

If this leads to the further downfall of the recording industry, then I say Godspeed!


...ever going to mention this particular meme - but wow. Great ideas should not be ignored.

Proofreading is not overrated

Thanks, chickencrap

Monday, October 01, 2007

Blogged 2489 Times Today

That's just a guess, but I'm sure this SNL video is everywhere today. But in case you haven't seen this, you should.