Is it just me?

Or are we all amazed at how great Tom is as Kenneth on 30 Rock?

Pure Joy

Sabatage!

Thanks to Bite & Smile for reminding me how crazy Bill Shatner always mispronounced sabotage.

Low Brow Crowd

Our buddy Scout Radio just had one of his photos added to Schmap.com, illustrating the Low Brow Lounge. He took this picture of the gang when we were trying to institute First Friday, a monthly get together for our diverse group of friends. I think we got 3 months out of it before it fell apart. Might be time to get that going again. Although, since that photo was taken there has been a veritable baby boom - at least 4 new babies with a couple more on the way...

Dental, damn!

Sorry for the gruesome image, but you are looking at my incredibly fucked up wisdom teeth. Look at that sideways one on the bottom right - yikes! I was at the dentist this morning just for a innocuous initial check-up and cleaning. I take really good care of my teeth (at least in the last 20 years) so I wasn't expecting much from the exam.

Dr. Turk strode into the room, took one look at my x-rays and told me I had to get oral surgery immediately to remove my wisdom teeth. I guess the bottom left one is rotting and creating a cyst, which he cheerily told me would eat away my entire jawbone if left untreated. Gulp!

And to make matters worse, I finally have to have my last baby tooth removed. Yes, at the age of 43 I still have a baby tooth. It was hanging in there pretty good, but I guess now it's crapping out on me, too. So, that's FIVE teeth I have to have removed. ASAP.

I'll admit that I'm a pussy, chicken, wimp, whatever you want to call it when it comes to pain. Why am I tattooless? I can't stand the idea of having that damn needle go in my skin. So, the idea of somebody cutting those teeth out of my gums has left me pretty shaken.

Luckily, Mrs. Best has been through it already and has given me some comforting words. And there will be drugs and anesthesia. So, I suppose I'll make it.

I think getting bad medical news when you're by yourself in the doctor's office is the worst feeling in the world. Once you're outside and talking to people about it, it's not so bad. But, in those lifeless dreary rooms, there's nowhere to hide from it. It's just you, the doctor and the truth.

One way to beat the Portland/Seattle slog

Hijack a plane!

Like a lot of people, I've always been fascinated by the D.B. Cooper story. New York has an interesting piece on the possible identity of the mystery man.

I know Crustodio has some interest in this - I believe he had one line in the Unsolved Mysteries re-enactment. Man, I'd love to see that clip on YouTube somewhere - but for now this will have to do:

What Is Best In Life?

Sometimes I think that I'm just not enough of a "go-getter."

RIP, Unlikely Advertising Hero

Robert Goulet, former star of stage, screen, television - and commercials - has passed away. Can you get more loveable than a self-deprecating, funny, former stud? I think not. Shatner, I'm looking at you too - hang in there.

Ancient History

Must be a slow work day for the Sizzler, here's another nugget from him: a brief history of Powells.com. All Portlanders seem to be proud (or smug) over our homegrown book store. ("It's one whole city block!") But, did you know they sold books online before even Amazon? I love that 1993 is like the dawn of time for all of us Internet types...

This is kind of like getting a text message from your grandmother

The Sizzler turned me on on to Gov Gab, the new fun and friendly federal government blog! See, not everybody in D.C. thinks that the internet is a series of tubes.

"We are federal employees who work in the Office of Citizen Services and Communications at the U.S. General Services Administration. In our daily jobs, we encounter a staggering amount of U.S. government information and services that can benefit your life. From saving money and visiting National Parks to finding out about government auctions and the latest recalls, we want to bring these resources to you in a new way—through our blog."

Hey, these guys aren't so bad, I even found a review of a Thurston Moore show. Alright, government hipster, get your ass back to work. I don't pay taxes so you can get drunk at indie rock concerts, I want to see some futuristic atom bomb shit.

OK, seriously, it seems like a fairly innocuous site, but as the Sizzler mentioned - searching the site for "Iraq" gives you "0 entries found". This may be the only blog in the world that can make that claim.

Here was my search:

Crazy person question of the day

A raving woman of the street screamed this at me repeatedly on my way to work this morning.

"Who has the ugliest legs?

Men?

Or women?"

Ah, big city livin'! Can't beat it sometimes...

What I'd do tonight if I wasn't old and tired

Why, I'd go see one of my all time favorite bands, Yo La Tengo at the Aladdin Theater! I've seen the YLT several times and it's always a treat. For those of you who are also missing out, here's a video to tide you over. The (not so funny now as it was in 1997) video for Sugarcube - co-starring the guys from Mr Show.

Formula for Funk

(Bob Fosse + Gwen Verdon)
___________________________
(1960s x "Walk it Out" by Unk)
=
Brilliance



Thanks, The Assimilated Negro

When there's no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth

Thanks, Words and Pictures

Getting Away With It

Two ads. Two different eras. Two different types of products. The same...uh...benefit. When I first saw the ad below for All-Bran - after laughing out loud - I thought, "Wow. They really got away with it that time."



Pretty smart ad, really. It's a normal...condition...and it was great to see it handled in a refreshing way. But, again, it seemed like maybe they were pushing standards.

Then I stumbled across this ad from the 60s. And really, it squicks me out. Maybe we handle this kind of subject better these days.



I bet that when an agency lands such an account, after the celebration, the creative team is always smacked in the face with the daunting thought of, "How on earth are we going to attack this one?"

I'm sore

I've been going to the gym, trying desperately to get into shape. Notice I didn't say, "back into shape", because I have never been in shape. But I was at least fairly skinny. In fact, I used to be referred to as lanky. No one has used that word to describe me in the 21st century. Hopefully, this will soon change. This is what I'm shooting for.

Kick-Ass Quote of the Day

"Exclamation points are the comb-overs of advertising copy."

"A client of mine just ruined some advertising copy by adding a slew of exclamation points.

I tried to talk him out of it. But, I couldn't. It was like trying to talk a bald man out of a comb over: if he didn't know enough not to do it in the first place, there was no way I was going to be able to talk him out of thinking it's a good idea.

Exclamation points do not add excitement, fun or urgency. They just SCREAM at an inappropriate volume.

That's why professional copywriters seldom, if ever, use exclamation points."

Thanks, Advertising Is Good For You

I Need a Raise

Thanks, words and pictures

The Icon That Wouldn't Die

As they say, everyone deserves a second chance.



This is an ad agency's dream. Create a spokes-puppet that you can hire out to your clients. It's a win-win situation. You get cash, they get instant brand equity.

Not sure if that's how it works with this particular super-puppet, but someone is making a mint.

Everybody Loves a Drunken Gay Portland

Another Willamette Week story. Portland has been getting mad love from major media outlets lately. This is something I notice a lot in the New York Times, but it seems to be everywhere now. Scroll down and read the bit about how Portland paid for the love.

But I really like the list of most popular Portland searches:

• Bike-friendly + Portland = 53
• Soggy + Portland = 135
• Vegan + Portland = 159
• Beer + Portland = 2,458
• Hipster + Portland = 163
• Dogs + Portland = 197
• Lesbians + Portland = 750
• Liberal + Portland = 1,379
• Ace Hotel + Portland = 52
• Suicide + Portland = 1,134
• Weird + Portland = 742
• Sustainable + Portland = 2,242
• Pearl District + Portland = 867
• Marijuana + Portland = 554
• Gay + Portland = 2,497
• Coffee + Portland = 316
• Indie + Portland = 72

Beer loses out to Gay. In tribute, here are some slightly phallic Portland beer taps.

A Honus Bonus and Emily Posts

Local rock band the Honus Huffhines got a nice write-up in the Willamette Week today. I actually "audtioned" for these guys earlier this year. Great guys, decent tunes, but it just didn't feel right to me, so I passed. Glad to see they're getting some good press.

I haven't really mentioned this, but I quit the Strange Effects last week. I was happy with the music, but didn't really fit in with the guys very well. I have strong feelings on band etiquette, and these guys were no Emily Posts. It was pretty mutual - they certainly had their reservations about me - and I know I have my own hang-ups. They're not bad guys, we just weren't a good match for each other. The end result was that I was constantly frustrated and annoyed and not having fun - which was the whole point of being in a band.

The second to last straw was when I recorded some keyboard parts on the recordings we're working on. They had some other guy come in and re-do one of my parts - and then didn't tell me. I don't mind the other guy playing the part, I mean I'm all for what sounds best - but to not say anything about it? That is fucked up. LIke I'm not going to notice?? And when I found out about it, the drummer sneered at me, "You're not hurt by that, are you?". Uh, yes I am. Sorry for having feelings, dude.

The last straw was clear to anyone who saw the show with the Black Lips a few weeks ago. Our lead guitarist got so drunk he couldn't play. Unfortunately, this didn't become apparent till we were already on stage and half way through the set. He made a real ass of himself, falling down and playing horribly. When we started the second to last song, his playing was so out of time and out of key that there was no way to continue. The singer put down his guitar and walked off the stage. Fun!

So, that kind of did it for me. No hard feelings or anything - in fact, I'm playing one last show with them in November.

The good news is that local musician about town Ezra Holbrook has offered to record my "solo album". He's been bugging me to record my material for about 8 years - and I've finally taken him up on it. He's a very talented guy - among many other credits, he produced, sang backing vocals, and played drums on the first Decemberists record.

If you asked me what I really needed in order to record a solo album, the answer would be a singing drummer, who is also a great producer and has a recording studio in his house. Enter Ezra...

Stop ignoring the signs

It has begun. Call Charlton Heston STAT.

Attention Women

Stop wearing these.



I know fall is here. I know they're warm. But really, unless you're toiling in the the Australian outback, stop.

That is all.

The ultimate honor for a revered political figure

Green is Whorish

Rolling Stone is kind enough to share their 25 Greatest Moments from The Office.

This is probably my favorite:



Thanks, Pop Candy

Warning: Sanity Ahead

Live Fast, Die Awesome

Just found this link to a site that shows the most recent 50 images uploaded to LiveJournal, a blogging site. It's pretty cool because there are just so damn many of them - and they're totally random (like the one above). It really illustrates just how many people are actually out there blogging and journaling.

Careful, there are occasional NSFW items here.

UPDATE: I just checked the page again, right after I posted and saw this one:

Nice.

Mulholland goes Beverly Hills

Not to be outdone by fellow "quirky" director Wes Anderson, David Lynch has hopped on the commercial train with this spot for Gucci.

If this were a scene in one of his movies, I'd assume that someone is about to be violently murdered. It scares me.



Not that I recommend it (I don't), but here's the mandatory "behind the scenes" video. As one of the comments says, "David Lynch is a twat."

Holy Hallowienerschnitzel!

I've been trying to figure out why I have no interest in Halloween. After viewing the 30 Most Unsettling German Halloween Costumes, I realize this is probably a good thing, with me being 100% Kraut and all.

Thanks, Blogtown, PDX.

Spectacularly Awesome Grafitti of the Day

Thanks, Stee

Old Man

The Onion AV Club has a great Neil Young primer. Check it out.

From Fire Crotch to Fire Phasers

Well, it looks like the casting is finally done on the new Star Trek movie. Chris Pine, who as far as I can tell hasn't ever been in anything good (except maybe Lindsey Lohan), has been cast as Kirk. And one of the dudes from Lord of the Rings has been cast as McCoy, creating a ripple in space/time reality for millions of geeks the world over.

Hard Drive Gets Hard Time

Death Cab for Cutie guitarist (and Portland resident) Chris Wall had a hard drive full of unmixed songs confiscated at the U.S. border. There was some speculation the drive was seized because of the political nature of the songs within. I'm pretty skeptical that Customs could determine that in any way whatsoever - unless they have some new technology that can quickly convert .wav files to written lyrics. Next time, maybe they'll send those files back via the Postal Service. (Sorry, it was too easy.)

The whole thing created a bit of media frenzy for Customs, especially when Walla later jokingly made a Guantanamo Bay reference. As the guy from his label says, "And now at least everyone knows Chris Walla has a solo record coming out."

Word.

NYT LOL!

This is old news, but I finally got around to reading it. Stephen Colbert did a guest Op-Ed in the Times, filling in for Maureen Dowd. And as he says:

"Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too."

I don't often laugh out loud while reading the Times, but this one got me.

All dead, all dead.

R.I.P. Joey

The ATL

Yo, readers. All 6 of you. I'm in Atlanta for a couple of days doing the work thing.

It's like, hot, here.

Lovely though. And with just a little bit of luck, I should be free as a bird (by 8:00 EST.) to sit in some Atlanta sports bar to watch the Tribe wrap up the ALCS. You hear me boys? Tonight. In Cleveland. Do it.

Holy crap

It's a good year to be an Indians fan. Yeah, I said it. After last night's 7-3 victory over the "pretending-to-be-a-ragtag-group-of-everyday-joes-but-really-the-second-highest-payroll-in baseball" Red Sox, it looks really good for the Tribe. Of course, one just has to look at 2004 and the Bo Sox come from 3-0 deficit against the Yankees to know that it ain't over yet.

And if you're any kind of Cleveland fan, you know that for a fact.

But if C.C. and Fausto find their regular season form, the World Series for the boys from Cleveland is almost a foregone conclusion.

Go Tribe! Game 5 - Thursday - 8p.m. ET/5p.m. PT

Bizarre note: I can't believe it's taken me decades to realize the irony of the Cleveland Indians using the "doo-doo-do-doooo-do-do" calvary charge as a rallying cry.

Indie schlock

A couple of items from Pitchfork. First, indie rock comes to the comic strip world.

Secondly, the White Stripes are now selling cameras. These actually look pretty cool....

The next meme

It has to be, doesn't it?

Seriously?

This is where my tax money is going?



I'm looking forward to the government's next ad campaign about how masturbation makes you go blind. Wait 'till your married? MARRIED? SERIOUSLY? I won't give that advice to my son, let alone an entire country of children. Why? Because it isn't even close to realistic.

I'm really pissed off about this. Abstinence programs don't work. Jesus. Teach them about safe sex, not some impossible, holier-than-though, head-in-the-sand, religion-based bullshit. It's all another part of the insane right-wing agenda that doesn't even allow 10% of Americans to marry the partner of their choice. So 1 out of 10 American kids are being told to never have sex? Abso-fucking-loutly ridiculous.

Well, thank God our president at least makes sure all kids have health care. Oh wait. He doesn't. Where the fuck are their priorities? Shame on all of them.


Thanks, Think Progress

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom

Thanks, adfreak

The Chuckster

Dooce is famous. Dooce writes very well. Dooce also takes pictures of her dog Chuck every day. Every day I click because , well, damn, just LOOK at him.



Get a dog. Live a better life.

The Colors are Back

Here's the third installment of the Sony Bravia "Colors" ads. Out in the ad world, there are a bunch of mixed reviews, but count me in as a fan. A big fan.



The Graffiti Table blogged about the first "Colors" ad here.

Cold Hands, Black Lips

I'm getting excited for our big show this Saturday, opening for the Black Lips. Check out the video:

Ready for Petty

More on Tom Petty and the resurgence of music movies in the Times.

Warning Cookie?

Geez, what is this world coming to? Here's my fortune cookie message from today's lunch:

You are wise to keep your eyes wide open at all times this week.

Maybe this is a new style of fortunes we'll be getting in the twilight of the Bush era.

"Don't overuse free speech."

"You are being watched."

"Disagreeing with the goverment is unpatriotic."

Actually, the best fortune I ever saw, was many years ago in New Orleans. It was the only fortune I've ever seen that had a 99.9% chance of being correct:

"You like Chinese food".

No lie.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

Attention Tom Petty fans (I guess that's probably everybody, really. I mean, who doesn't love the T.P.?):

The new documentary Running Down a Dream will be available on dvd on October 16th only at Best Buy. It's playing in a few select theaters on the 15th, but not in PDX. It is playing in Seattle - so Crustodio, get your ass out there.

What is this Best Buy-only shit? How weird is that? It actually works out for me, since I have some in-store credit there. Why isn't this flick in the theaters? Surely there is an audience for this, at least in the art houses.

The film is directed by Peter Bogdanovich, who had an incredible early career (Last Picture Show,Paper Moon, What's Up. Doc?) and then tumbled into disrepute after troubled relationship with Cybill Shepherd and murdered playmate Dorothy Stratton. He's recently made a public comeback in his role as Dr. Melfi's therapist on The Sopranos.

Crust & Best IM

Crust (10:12:01 AM): Tom sure is firing off the emails
Best (10:12:19 AM): he's always been an early responder
Crust (10:12:27 AM): that's what beth said
Crust(10:12:32 AM): ba-da-bing!
Best (10:12:51 AM): cricket

Happy Days in the Bronx

I made a point of not writing about my boys heading off to the playoffs. If you've ever known an Indians fan, you know that we're a superstitious group. And facing the Yankees? The f'n Yankees? I thought I better lay low and keep the jinx off.

But the young guns did it. With, of course, the help of my man, the 40-year-old veteran, the forever-young Kenny Lofton. That dude rules.

Now onto the Bo Sox. With our rotation intact and ready to go, we should at least give them a run. Keep 'em crossed, Tribe fans. And don't jinx a goddamn thing.

Goofus and Gallant

I still reference this Highlights cartoon from time to time, especially when I or a friend do something totally stupid or selfish.

For example, Goofus posts a 10 minute NSFW video on his blog. Gallant only posts short videos and always adds a warning if there's anything naughty.

This post is not in reference to Crustodio's previous post, videos just make a good example. It's actually inspired by my boss borrowing my scissors a few days ago and then leaving them in someone else's office.

Here's McSweeney's take on it.

Take Your Focus Group and Shove It

I've been through my share of these. Bottom line? People are stupid.

Thanks, Adverganza

So?

Noted stage actor and Tony award winner George Grizzard died yesterday. While he may be most famous for originating the role of George in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? on Broadway (or for the uncultured in the house, his role as Tom Hank's future father-in-law in Bachelor Party), I will always remember him for the best put-down of all time™.

Let me set the stage. Crustodio and I were Theater majors at a small midwestern college. Mr. Grizzard has been invited to appear in production of Equus - you know, the play where Harry Potter gets naked.

George was an okay guy, about what you would expect from a professional actor. He hung out a bit, and was fairly approachable.

So, we had a classmate named Michael Fry who was a bit of a buffoon. Not a bad guy really, but at the time he was really obnoxious. He was a kind of interesting character, in that he was sort of a blue collar, stoner, hesher type guy, but he was also very "theatrical" and really into acting- sadly, without a whit of talent. Enthusiastic, loud, outgoing and overbearing, he was also a closetalker and his usual outfit was a wifebeater t-shirt paired with tight blue jeans tucked into moccasin boots.

One day between classes, we ran into George Grizzard in the hallway. We all sort of mumbled "hello" and went on our way, except Michael - who, in his inimitable fashion, loudly greeted him.

Michael Fry:

"Hey, man, have a great show tonight! I'm gonna be there."

(Pause.)

George Grizzard:

"So?"

Michael Fry left speechless, for the first time ever.

... and SCENE!

The end.

Case Study

Our friend Marty has become a case study. I've often thought he should be under strict 24-hour observation, but this is a a little different.

Or maybe it should be Case Studly - check out these raves: "Bold masculine identity, smart and unforgettable."

Clooney wishes he got reviews like that....

Not something you see every day

A police car with a No Parking ticket. Wha-?

For some reason, I was nervous taking this picture, like I was going to get in trouble. It's still subtle, but the fear is there - thanks to our budding Fascist Police State.

Late breaking link: Cops Writing Cops. Thanks, Crustodio.

Old Believers tonight

Check these kids out tonight, if you get a chance. Even the DubDub is pimping them now. Don't not go.

So not news

Jesus, CNN. What are you now? Access Hollywood?

Seriously, cut it out. No more Britney, Paris, Lindsay, Porn Stars, Perez, TMZ, or anything else that ISN'T FUCKING NEWS. DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB.

Sorry.

Best & Crust IM

best (12:43:05 PM): watch that 5 Days thing on HBO last night?
crust (12:43:24 PM): no - didn't even hear about it
best (12:44:11 PM): http://www.hbo.com/films/fivedays/?ntrack_para1=feat_sec1_title
best (12:44:21 PM): Really good, but very intense
crust (12:44:50 PM): sure sign we are getting old - that there is a "but" in that sentence instead of an "and"

Wait for the Beep

CAUTION: Severe flashback imminent

The Price is Right

What would you pay for a new Radiohead album? Responsible for 2 of the best albums of the 90's (OK Computer and The Bends), in recent years the band has slowly disappeared up it's own asshole, their quest for experimentation and innovation resulting in a string of boring and joyless albums.

In a genius move, they are offering their new record on their website for any price you want to pay. I'd pay 50 bucks for another OK Computer. They owe me money for crap like Hail To the Thief.

If this leads to the further downfall of the recording industry, then I say Godspeed!

Wasn't...

...ever going to mention this particular meme - but wow. Great ideas should not be ignored.

Proofreading is not overrated

Thanks, chickencrap

Blogged 2489 Times Today

That's just a guess, but I'm sure this SNL video is everywhere today. But in case you haven't seen this, you should.

Class of '82

Getting older is a drag. Instead of getting blue, I find it always helps to check in with the "beautiful people" for some perspective. None of these people seem "old" to me:

Sandra Bullock, Nicolas Cage, Cedric the Entertainer, Don Cheadle, Courteney Cox, David Cross, Russell Crowe, Crustodio, Matt Dillon, Calista Flockhart, Crispin Glover, Teri Hatcher, Diana Krall, Laura Linney, Courtney Love, Rob Lowe, Clive Owen, Mary-Louise Parker, Dana Plato, Keanu Reeves, Robbie Rist, Annabella Sciorra, David Spade, Wanda Sykes, Marisa Tomei, and don't forget Patrick "Puddy" Warburton.

And a special shout-out to the only famous person I've found with the same birthday and year. It's Scout Radio crush #1, Janeane Garofalo.

A Best Birthday

If you're so inclined, send a happy birthday to Mr. Best.

He's old, so you may have to shout.

Darjeeling Prologue - FREE

Hey gang, Hotel Chevalier, prologue to The Darjeeling Limited is free on iTunes right now. And rumor has it that we see more of Natalie Portman than we have in the past.

Get it while you can.

Thanks, I Watch Stuff

Ironic Woman

The debut episode of Bionic Woman last night was pretty good, but couldn't hold a candle to the vintage action scenes here:



And was that John Houseman as the Fembot dispatcher?? I wonder if he and former partner Orson Wells ever talked about how great their careers were going.

Thanks Blogtown, PDX for the clip.

Le Pigeon

Le Pigeon gets props in today's New York Times article on the Golden Age of Portland Dining. Wow, I'm living in a Golden Age. Finally! Does this mean my memories of 2007 will now be sepia-toned?

According to Wikipedia, "In literary works, the Golden Age usually ends with a devastating event, which brings about the Fall of Man". That devastating event may have been me going through the drive-thru of Taco Bell at 9:30pm. Sorry, Man.

Though not named in the article, Le Pigeon is owned by Paul Brady, an old friend of Mr. Best. Paul is also half of Portland's premiere Johnny Cash cover band, Counterfeit Cash. Haven't been to the restaurant, but ate at Colleen's, his previous restaurant in the same spot.

Thanks to Scout for the tip.

Reason #345 why I hate the Internet

There are some things I would truly rather not know.

Reason #2389 why I heart the Internet

Just close your eyes and wish for something. And holy shit, it just may come true.

The Monkees on "The Johnny Cash Show"

How Low Can He Go?

That 9/11 whore is at it again.

And did you catch this one? Rudy claimed that he was "at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers." Well, the Times did a bit of fact-checking. Turns out Ghouliani was at Ground Zero a fraction of the time spent by the resuce workers. In fact, he spent 29 hours there, but 58 hours at Yankees games in the same time period. Maybe the other 19 hours were spent boffing his mistress.

A moment of silence, please

Marcel Marceau has passed away.

It's time for Shields and Yarnell to pick up the torch...quietly.

R.I.P. Esmeralda

In 1981, I went to a playwriting festival in Mass. where a mother of a friend was premiering a play. The big draw of the festival was the actress Helen Hayes. Often called "The first lady of the American theater", it was quite a coup to have her attend.

Me? I was 17 years old and all I could really remember her for was her leading role in the immortal, "Herbie Rides Again".

What a dork. Thank God I didn't say anything when I shook her hand.

So, Alice Ghostly has passed away. So very sad to see Esmeralda from Bewitched go. But did you know she was a Tony-award winning actress? Me neither. But I do remember her as the shop teacher in "Grease".

Does this mean that someday people 30 years younger than me will only remember Kristen Chenoweth as the crazy aunt in some future sitcom? Boggles the mind.

Rest well, Ms. Ghostly. You served your profession well.

Not OK-Ville

A good article about one of my favorite pet peeves: how Hollywood always gets New Orleans wrong, in this case the new cop show K-Ville. Here's a great example of the Hollywood stupidity: the producer of the show admits that NO ONE calls NOLA "K-Ville". He just made it up. Asshole.

A lot of people seem to like the Dennis Quaid/Ellen Barkin movie, The Big Easy, but it takes amazingly ludicrous liberties with NOLA. My favorite scene is when they go have a romantic wine and pizza dinner at Tipitina's. Not fucking likely.

Here's a note to all you hacks out there. I lived in New Orleans for almost 10 years and NEVER heard someone with a "Cajun" accent. Geez, Pete, just calm down and listen to good ole Remy McSwain:

"Just relax, darlin'. This is the "Big Easy." Folks have a certain way o' doin' things down here."

ARRGGHHHH!

There is a local accent called "Yat" (as in "where ya at?") and it kinda sounds like a Brooklyn accent from the 40's. It's really great.

And yes, I am getting psyched up for our December visit. Let the good times roll...

Hold the rage, pass the umbrage

Funny article from Time on the Republican's latest weapon: umbrage.

Live Review: The Flaming Lips at the Roseland Theater, Portland, Oregon, September 20th, 2007

Huge symphonic arrangements. Giant blue balloons floating in the audience. 6 dancing girls in Santa outfits stage left, 6 dancing girls in outer space mini-dresses stage right - all aiming high-powered flashlight beams into the crowd. Giant video screen with psychedelic imagery. Large billowing clouds of smoke from the dry ice machine. Strobe lights. And confetti. Lots and lots of confetti.

And that was just the first song.

There is something wildly exhilarating about giant clouds of confetti, it feels like being caught in a very pleasant blizzard. The Lips' stage show is designed for arenas and outdoor festivals. In the modest confines of the Roseland Theater it was a mind-blowing experience. (Though I missed the giant plastic ball.) These guys made it onto a list of the 50 bands to see before you die. Though that list is totally fucked, I can't disagree.

Wayne Coyne is a great showman, though his voice is weak and "pitchy". That may be why they put so much effort into the spectacle. Although there was liberal use of pre-recorded backing tracks in order to recreate the arrangements, the show never seemed canned. Stepehn Drozd is the band's secret weapon. Live he switched from strong backing vocals, lead guitar and keyboards. On record he also plays drums. Their touring drummer was great, and also cued up the backing tracks. Bassist Michael Ivins is still wearing his John Entwhistle skeleton leotard. He sat through most of the show, looked bored and produced some of the most distorted and overdriven bass sounds I've heard in quite a while.

I'm not a big fan of their latest record, but they played good stuff off of Soft Bulletin and Yoshimi. Wayne had a tendency to go on and on between songs and dropped more "motherfuckers" than Snoop Dogg. Whatever. In any case, they are a very "up" and positive band whose goal seems to be to put a smile on everyone's face, without being cheap or cheesy. Few bands can pull that off and it's always a nice change of pace from the tortured artist of the month.

The highlight of the show for me was oddly also the least spectacular. A single keyboard and vocal sing-along to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. To hear several thousand people singing those bizarre and surreal lyrics - it was one of those moments in this American Idol age of mediocrity, when you feel like art has won.

Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body

'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Word.

Matthew McConaughey Owes Owen Big Time

If this works out, it will be the best thing that's happened to him since Dazed and Confused.

He might wanna throw Kate Hudson a buck or two too.

Note Rage

In a copywriting adventure long, long ago, I worked for a well-known dot-com with over 200 employees. Each day - you could count on it - at least a dozen people would receive calls on their cell phones that they had left on their desk. While they were in a meeting. Or at lunch. Or the bathroom. And yeah, it was annoying.

But I don't think anyone ever left a note.



Find this - and other fantastically angry missives - at passiveagressivenotes.com.

With all of the phone applications now, I think the best revenge would be grab the offending phone and use it to buy the worst ringtones possible. The first one to come to mind: My Humps. The song, not the Alanis video.

Add your own horrible ringtone choices in the comments.

Getting it in Seattle

Try all you want, but no one can stop me from riding the S.L.U.T.

Fact Checkers Unit

How is this video not all over the Internet by now? I should have stumbled across this at least 50 times already.

But no. Not until I checked in with Make the Logo Bigger.

Take some time out of your day to watch Fact Checkers Unit, with Bill Murray (and the lovely addition of Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords fame.

This is what the Internet is for - along with skateboard crashes.

Wes Anderson Sells Out

Well, not really. Everything is commercial, so why shouldn't he direct some spots for AT&T? After one night of network television, you could argue that these raise the level of entertainment for the average viewer.

Plus, after Mr. Best's blogsterbation over Wes, it only seems right to share them with y'all.



Thanks, Goldenfiddle


See a bunch more here.

Mining Internet History

After seeing the Internet People! video, I thought it may be a good idea to keep these gems fresh in everyone's minds. Today we revisit The Grape Stompers.

I like this

A good ad (meaning good for both clients and agencies alike) finds a way to highlight the main benefit of a product, while connecting emotionally with consumers. And no, it's nowhere near that simple, but hey, this is a blog not a book.

Keep in mind the following
1. Features (fast connection speeds, less sodium, low prices, etc.) are not benefits (get more done quickly, live healthier, save money, etc.)
2. Benefits work even harder for you when they're extended to real-life wishes(have more time for your family, live to see your kid graduate, save for that dream vacation).

I feel quite certain that both the agency and the client were pleased with this puppy:

I would write a formal obit, but my (blank) is too small.

R.I.P., Ms. Sommers

Is that really the headline?

Everything clicks for Browns

Blink. Blink. Yep, that's what it says.

I saw the whole thing yesterday at our local Browns hangout with over 100 other Browns fans in the Seattle area. That was a seriously exciting game - and the best I've seen the Cleveland offense play since...since...wow, a really f'n long time.

High fives. Yelling. Praying. And, of course, a beer or three. A great, great game.

Did I pick the Browns in my football pool? Of course not. Do I care? Not a chance.

My son plays WOW and hangs out in MySpace

I mean, really, what is he thinking? He should be doing something like this with his time.

Although if he really knew me, the site would be mydadwantstoretireandplaygolfeveryday.com.


Thanks, Presurfer

Not quite the original sin, but close

Saw this on the way to breakfast. A collection of Portland art cars in the parking lot.

Bungaloaded

I love Charles Bukowski. There's a movement in L.A. to save the bungalow where he lived in the late 60's and early 70's, when he transformed from drunken wage slave to drunken writer. He wrote Post Office here, my favorite of his books. He would probably scoff at such an honor. After all, his tombstone reads "Don't Try".

Thanks, Pop Candy.

Are Wayfarers coming back?

Well, that's the rumor on the streets.

Thanks, Pop Candy.

Sorry, sports fans....

I could really give a rat's ass about the NBA, but these poor Jailblazers fans can't seem to catch a break.

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Greg Oden, the top pick in this year's NBA draft, likely will miss his first season with the Portland Trail Blazers after surgery on his right knee Thursday.

Doctors found cartilage damage during an exploratory procedure, and team physician Dr. Don Roberts performed microfracture surgery to repair the damage.

''There are things about this that are positive for Greg. First of all, he is young. The area where the damage was is small and the rest of his knee looked normal,'' Roberts said in a statement. ''All those are good signs for a complete recovery from microfracture surgery.''

The 7-foot center is expected to be on crutches for up to eight weeks. Full recovery likely will take six to 12 months, the team said.

Oden was the No. 1 pick in the June draft out of Ohio State, where he averaged 15.7 points and 9.6 rebounds.

The Blazers scheduled a news conference Thursday to discuss Oden's situation.

''Certainly this is a setback, but our future is still incredibly bright,'' Trail Blazers general manager Kevin Pritchard said. ''Is it disappointing? Yes. However, this is a great core of talent and players of strong character and will continue to be.''

It was Oden's second health problem since the Trail Blazers drafted him. He had a tonsillectomy in July after struggling in two Las Vegas summer league games.

Oden recovered and had been working out in the Portland area. The MRI was taken Thursday, and Oden refrained from working out over the weekend.

Despite being hampered by a wrist injury at Ohio State, Oden led the Buckeyes to the national championship game as a freshman. He had 25 points and 12 rebounds in the loss to Florida.

Oden talked about the injury earlier this week in his blog. He said he had a sharp pain about a month ago when he was on vacation.

''I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to seem like I was complaining or making excuses for anything. Plus I wasn't doing anything at the time I realized it hurt, so I figured it couldn't be anything big,'' he said.

The Blazers open training camp Oct. 2. The regular season opener is at San Antonio on Oct. 30.

Rushmore

Boy, what I great movie. I just love it more and more. In fact, the first 3 Wes Anderson joints are all classics in my book (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums) - all 3 co-written with Owen Wilson. Quality seemed to fall off after The Royal Tenenbaums - is it coincidental that Wes was no longer writing with Owen? I know Owen's been a total movie slut lately, and obviously, he's a troubled guy - but, in my book, he's the real deal.

I could go on forever about Anderson's whole style: casting and recasting wonderful actors, the brilliant production design, the quirky plots and characters, even the sans-serif font (Futura Bold) he uses for the titles - love it all.

But, to keep this fairly short, here are some thoughts after last night's viewing:

- I love the music. Wes and I share the same taste in music: 60's/70's folky, baroque pop. Has there ever been a cooler juxtaposition of image and music than the Who singing "Dang! Dang! Dang!" from the live version of "A Quick One While He's Away" while Max Fisher walks out of the hotel freight elevator in slow motion, having just let bees loose in Herman's room? There are so many moments like that. The use of the Kinks "Nothing In This World Can Stop Me Worrin' Bout That Girl" earlier in the film is masterful, just cut perfectly. Let's not forget the use of under the radar classics like the Creation's "Making Time", Cat Stevens' "Here Comes My Baby" and John Lennon's "Oh Yoko!". Can you imagine if this movie had been scored with the typical Hollywood banality? How about James Brown's "I Got You (I Feel Good)" to lively up that scene? Ugh.

And the closing moments of the film, when Max has the DJ cue up the Face's "Ooh La La". OK, I am a music snob, and this kills me - but I have to admit I wasn't familiar with that song when I first saw the movie in 1998. I've never been a Rod Stewart fan, so I had never explored the Faces catalog. I didn't realize that there were non-Rod songs in their repertoire. The song was written by band members Ronnie Lane (RIP) and (future-Stone) Ron Wood. Ron Wood sings the song, and I gotta say I'd love to hear him sing that during a Rolling Stones concert. Hmmm, well, I'm guessing he probably doesn't have much say in that band. After all, he's still the new guy after 32 years.

- Jason Schwartzman. How the hell did he pull that off? The kid effortlessly carried the movie and held his own with talented vets like Bill Murray and Brian Cox. What an amazing film debut.

- "Oh, are they?" - Max's response to Luke Wilson, explaining that he is wearing OR scrubs. This ad lib (suggested by WIlson) still kills me in the dinner scene. Not to mention Max's pathetic cry, "I wrote a hit play!" That line captures being a drunk 15-year old misfit perfectly.

- Bill Murray's facial expression when he is introduced to Max's father, the dentist (Seymour Cassel) - not the neurosurgeon Max had bragged about. Murray manages to wordlessly convey surprise, heartbreak and compassion in a 2 second span - it is a beautiful moment.

- The exchange between Ms. Cross and Max, when they discuss their dead loved ones. Max's aside, "One dead fingernail" captures the hopelessness of her grief, and the realization that she must move on.

God, there are just so many moments like this. I could go on forever. Ok, here are a few things that bug me every time:

- What is up with the Scottish kid? The whole Scottish brogue thing is just annoying and a distraction. And why is he wearing that cast? Usually, I like little unexplained character quirks, but this one rubs me the wrong way.

- There is a glaringly false moment in the film that pisses me off every time. When Max is finally starting to find his way at Grover Cleveland High, we see him as a male cheerleader. Ok, this is fine, this works with his character. But then, Anderson submits us to a horrible movie cliche - sudden and unexplained physical prowess. Max runs and does a series of running back flips like a world-class gymnast. Not since Don Ameche busted out some break dance moves in Cocoon has there been a more fake moment in a movie. We love Max because he is a goofy guy with great ambitions, but with normal limitations. It makes sense when he is quickly thrown down on the mat in the wrestling sequence. That's the Max we have bought into. I don't know who the hell the guy is doing backflips across the gym. That is not Max. I should just edit that out of my dvd.

- What the hell happened to Olivia Williams? Not since the bizarre disappearance of Karen Allen has someone so talented vanished off the pop culture radar. Rushmore, the Sixth Sense and then.... Jason and the Argonauts? Yeesh.

So, did I make you want to watch this movie right this second? I hope so. I'm ready to put it on again myself.